He Who Whistles | Doll-E

101 12 4
                                    


BLURB:

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

BLURB:

"Will you tell me a story?" She clutched the comforter between her hands, a tell-tale sign that she was afraid.

"A story?", he questioned, "I'm not the type of demon or human to share stories. It's not in my nature to do so."

Her grasp on the quilted blanket loosened and slightly bowed her head in disappointment then softly spoke. "Please, just one. I'm sure you're not a stranger to tales and legends of old."

The corner of his lips quirked upwards at his little swan's attempt to invoke some sympathy in him. And she was successful, rightfully so. He sighed bitterly then promised to himself that he'd only allow this to happen once and never again.

"All right. But what kind of story would you like?" Her head snapped up when he agreed. He watched as her round eyes bulged slightly as his darkened purple ones stared back at her, promising only carnal desire. "One that involves a charming prince and a helpless maiden or one that involves a big, bad demon that devours all that's innocent?"

+++

When Odette, mystified by the unknown and unseen, comes face to face with a nightmarish demon that promises to give her a taste of his forbidden fruit, her reality and everything she thought she knew comes crashing down in flames.

***

YOUR COVER: (9/10) From the way the font is presented to the creativity of the photo used, your cover is very professional looking and well done! The only thing I would point out is that the photo quality seems to be blurry and faded. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not, but either way your cover seems to draw in the right audience for your story!

YOUR TITLE: (10/10) After reading your first chapter, I immediately got a lightbulb moment for the title, alluding to the whistling later in the chapter. It's a clever, unique name, and it matches the dark mood of your story.

YOUR BLURB: (3/5) From reading your blurb, it draws in the right audience looking for the dark romance genre. I did see that some of your sentences could be restructured, and you have some grammar issues as well. A cleaner version of your blurb would be:

"Will you tell me a story?" She clutched the comforter between her hands, a telltale sign that she was afraid.

"A story?" he questioned. "I'm not the type of demon or human to share stories. It's not in my nature to do so."

Her grasp on the quilted blanket loosened, and she bowed her head in disappointment. Then, softly, she spoke. "Please, just one. I'm sure you're not a stranger to tales and legends of old."

Essie's CritiquesWhere stories live. Discover now