That Which is Unknown (2) | cre0adregar

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BLURB:

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BLURB:

Bad news everyone, there's a killer vampire on the loose. The vampire, codenamed Night Reaper, has a death count of roughly ten thousand, and unless he's stopped, he will kill thousands more.

In response to the grave threat, governing angel Rigel sends a mortal, Amelia Garcia, on a quest. Eager to prove her worth and conquer her fears, Amelia ventures to the supernatural world in search of the great hero Death Meister.

All the while, something far more sinister lurks in the dark places of the world. Something so powerful and malevolent that it threatens the world and the gods who've sworn to protect it.

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YOUR COVER: (6/10) This new cover is an improvement from your cover before. However, there are still some things I'd like to address. Have you thought about the placement of the photo, and what kind of filters or graphics you might want to have? The title should easily be the largest text on the cover as well, and I didn't see creativity in the placement or font of the title. If you choose to change the font, think about what fonts go with what genre and how to make your title stand out. You can also take a look at the cover shops on my reading list—there are some excellent cover designers on Wattpad who will gladly take a request from you.

YOUR TITLE: (8/10) I enjoy the uniqueness of your title, and I can tell you put a lot of thought to it. However, it won't attract a lot of audiences. It doesn't hint towards the genre your story is in, and the title is vague/generic. You can certainly keep it as it is, but if any other ideas come to mind throughout the story (such as specific people, symbolic objects, a special place, or a repetitive phrase), keep your mind open to those ideas, and find which are the most appealing to you. (Copied and pasted from previous review).

YOUR BLURB: (4.5/5) I was impressed by the conciseness and clarity of your blurb. You stated the triggering act and the general plot within your blurb, and I was easily able to skim through and understand the story genre. I also got a taste for your writing style and wit. A few things I'd like to point out are that you should try to avoid repetition. For example, you already addressed that there was a vampire on the loose, so for your next sentence, you don't need to say "vampire" again because potential readers will understand from the context that Night Reaper is the killer vampire. I suggest you start the second sentence as, "The codenamed Night Reaper has a death count..." or something like that. I found that the ending of your blurb was a bit lacking as well, because I didn't get a sense of closure from it. It's a good hint/teaser for the contents of your story, but it felt as though there was something missing. I suggest tying up the events mentioned in order to close up your blurb. These suggestions, of course, are optional, and frankly, your blurb doesn't need any corrections/suggestions; I'm just being picky here.

YOUR HOOK: (5/5) I like that you brought us immediately into the protagonist's mind with a quote she favored and followed up with her surroundings. There weren't any grammatical errors I could find, although the following words after the quote were rather abrupt. Instead of saying, "The line came from the father of cosmic horror, H.P. Lovecraft," shorten it down to, "H.P. Lovecraft: the father of cosmic horror." Your readers will already know that you're referring to the quote. (copied and pasted from previous review as I'm not starting from chapter one in this one).

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