God Has Abandoned Us | TaehyungsBrokenToe

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BLURB:

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BLURB:

"I have spoke to God and he has abandoned us."

These were Kim Taehyung's last words in 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 life.

A few secrets about a hidden experiment, a guilty murderer and his despicable friends.

A peculiar tale following a story of cruel death, a crueler fate and the cruelest reincarnation.

"I'm sorry for what I did."

Could be Kim Taehyung's last words in 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 life.

***

YOUR COVER: (8/10) I was impressed by the complexity of your cover, and I feel that it portrayed your story and genre very well. There's almost too much going on with your cover, however. Your background is very elaborate, and as a reader, I would have appreciated a clean and simple title color/font to starkly contrast that complexity. You can keep it as it is, but I suggest keeping that in mind if you ever decide on getting a new cover.

YOUR TITLE: (10/10) Your title is not only unique, but it invokes engagement with the reader. It raises questions and adds an air of mysteriousness to your work that can draw in potential readers. You've done a wonderful job coming up with a title to fit your story.

YOUR BLURB: (3/5) For the most part, your blurb was clean and precise. I still found a few things to nitpick at. For example, in the first sentence, because you have the filler word "have," the word "spoke" should be conjugated to fit that context. The correct way to say this would be: "I have spoken to God..." Another way to write this could be to just be rid of the "have" completely, and simply say, "I spoke to God..." In the two sentences in the middle, you are listing things, and each thing listed should be separated with a comma. Additionally, the last sentence is technically incomplete as it is without a subject. If I were to fix all these, your blurb would look like this:

"I have spoken to God, and he has abandoned us."

Those were Kim Taehyung's last words in 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 life.

A few secrets about a hidden experiment, a guilty murderer, and his despicable friends.

A peculiar tale following a story of cruel death, a crueler fate, and the cruelest reincarnation.

"I'm sorry for what I did."

These could be Kim Taehyung's last words in 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 life.

I also changed "these" to "those" in the second sentence to avoid repetition with the last sentence, but this is optional.

YOUR HOOK: (4/5) I appreciated how you brought me straight into the story. You began with where Taehyung's story may have been triggered to start; where his personality began developing and becoming obvious to those around him. This was an intriguing start, and you gave readers exactly what they wanted when they came to read this book; which was, essentially, to read about a psychopath. I took off a point because there were still a few grammatical errors in the first few paragraphs, but I'll point those out for you in your chapter reviews.

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