Chapter 87 Snape & Harry pt 3 of 3

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This chapter is being posted early as I'm about to start a 21 day week (fun times)

See end for more notes about when the next chapter is being posted.

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Goddess how would he even begin to fix this, Severus thought, staring at the boy, who was too young to seem so old and weary. From the sounds of it, he'd never been a child. He'd been a child even less than Severus had been. At least Severus had had his mother and Lily.

Maybe it was time to start treating the boy like an adult. That had perhaps been one of Severus's mistakes, thinking the boy young and stupid, naive. He was young, and no doubt naive about some things. But the boy was older emotionally Severus suspected than many of the seventh years were.

Severus couldn't afford to treat him better in class, had to still appear to hate him, for both their safety, but maybe it was time to come clean to the boy. Maybe that would help mend fences.

Severus sighed, "you have no need to fear, I merely want you to pay attention and hear what I am about to say. I will not be using legilimency on you again tonight, and certainly not without telling you." Harry narrowed his eyes at the wording but reluctantly forced his eyes to Snape's face.

"I owe you an apology," Severus said, sounding pained.

Harry flinched as if he'd just been struck.

"And that is why I owe you an apology, child." Professor Snape said seeming tired and very human suddenly, in a way he hadn't before.

He looked Harry directly in the eye said, "I may have been far out of line before, but I have never, and will never, ever, strike a child. Nor will I see one be hurt if I can do anything to avoid it. I may yell but I will never hit you. I promise you, no matter how angry I get, I will never ever hit you. You are safe."

Harry just looked at him, wide eyed feeling scared and vulnerable, and rather sick suddenly.

He hated that he was so transparent. He wanted to leave, he wanted to curl up in his cupboard under his mum's blanket.

"I believe..." The Professor paused, considering his words carefully, "I acted rashly when you apologised last term. I should have accepted your apology, it was an honest one. I should not have lost my temper at you as I did," he said. "I've let you down, and treated you poorly, I am sorry."

Harry stared, trying not to keel over. He felt sick, and his hands were shaking, and the world felt like it was spinning a little.

Why was Snape apologising? No-one apologised to Harry. When had anyone cared if they yelled at him? And it was so un-Snape-like too. What on earth had made the man apologise to the son of his tormentor? To the student, he loathed the most? What had changed now?

And how much had it cost the proud man to apologise to one of his students, a student that was the spawn of one of his abusers? He could tell it had cost the man. Harry felt ill. He just looked at him, unable to speak.

Harry could feel the magic singing in Snape's words and feel the man's discomfort and guilt and regret-regret-regret-grief-Lily-Lily-grief-loss-pain...

The man was nearly drowning in it. And from the cold expression on his face, Harry never would have guessed the man capable of such emotion, but he was.

Harry's empathy never lied. So he just swallowed, his throat thick with emotion he couldn't quite comprehend; anger, longing, rage, hurt, hope and want, and just pushed his emotions aside to process later.

"Why are you being nice?" Harry croaked out eventually, unable to stop himself. The man winced and looked pained, and harry automatically felt guilty.

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