Harry Potter gets smart and takes control - The Goblet

Chapter 57 New Year

This is the last chapter in Nocturne, next chapter they head back to school. But I couldn't resist another ritual.

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Harry read more of his mum's books on the Darke and on her goddess Hekate. He was getting fond of the Darke. While he felt he might be ready to dedicate himself to his mother's goddess, (his goddess, he corrected himself), he wasn't sure he was quite ready to take that step towards the Darke.

It felt big.

He had gotten the impression it was a life choice, that once he made it, he would not be able to go back on it. It was permanent. Dedicating himself to the Darke felt like a seriously big deal in a way dedicating himself to Hekate wasn't. But he hadn't figured out what that meant yet, but they felt different.

While Harry felt drawn to the Darke, Hermione didn't feel the same call. For him, it was like coming home and finding somewhere to belong. He wasn't sure if it was Nocturne or the Darke, but he wanted it; desperately. He didn't think she'd really consider becoming Darke, but she seemed as fascinated by it as she was by everything new.

She was especially interested in Harry's new practice of making offerings at each meal, (however sceptical she was about the existence of gods or godesses.) Harry had taken to always offering a little piece of whatever he was eating to magic as that was the thing that he was most reverent of.

Magic had given him his freedom back. Magic had given him himself back. Magic was in everything; in the earth, the forest he found sanctuary in, the alley he found peace and community in, and the magic within him that gave him a sense of belonging and home. Magic was everything, and he was most desperately thankful for it.

After finding out about offerings, trying it himself and feeling that connection to something; Harry couldn't not offer something at each meal. It was a small price to pay really. And he'd found ever since he had started, his magic, which had been wild and chaotic since the unbinding had eased.

It seemed to have settled slightly and was easer to work with now. After being suppressed and bound for years, it felt to Harry like having, while not another person inside him, but something else. Something that was other and yet was intrinsically him. If felt as if it had its own wants and instincts. It had taken a while to settle down and for Harry to come to a balance of the two halves of himself.

But since he'd started following the old ways and making offerings, it had settled. It was as if the magic had started to trust him again, to feel at home within him again. As if it had started to trust that he wanted it, wouldn't abandon it and reject it again. No matter how much it hadn't been Harry's fault. But Harry didn't begrudge his magic of that fear. After all, he understood better than most the kind of irrational fears trauma could bring.

Harry also made an offering to Hekate each night at bedtime. He didn't do it at every meal, as he felt making on to magic, would by association offer reverence to Hekate too. She was, after all, an entity of magic and belief. He was grateful for her help with the ritual and also felt that in making an offering to her, he was a little closer to his mother.

Hermione had been fascinated to watch him hold a piece of meat in his hand and close his eyes. When he then opened them, the food would be gone as if it had not been there at all. She still didn't understand how he could believe in gods, but she did try making an offering herself to magic. But while Harry found the practice to be comforting, to connect to something more, she found it uncomfortable and overwhelming.

"It feels weird. I don't understand it. I don't like it," she said, staring at the edge of the plate where the bit of food had been, "it makes me feel too... Stretched out? Overexposed? It just feels... weird." She shivered, "too big."