Sanders Sides One Shots

Battle (Everyone. It's everyone.)

"What is up, Remus? No, what the f***, dude? Step the f*** up, Remus," Roman all but growled at his brother, who feigned offense.

"How do you know what's good for me?" he replied, his hand dramatically fanning over his heart.

Virgil snorted from the kitchen upon hearing Roman's unholy screech of, "That's my opinion!". He understood what was happening and, deciding he didn't want to miss this bonding moment, he inserted himself on the couch in the living room to watch this hot tea spill all over the floor.

Moments later, he sighed to himself. I forgot popcorn.

"When will you learn! When will you learn!" Roman was practically sobbing, but obviously not from sadness. No, the twins were dying of laughter. "That your actions have consequences!

"I—" he wheezed, trying to catch his breath. "I saw you hanging out with Virgil yesterday!"

Virgil choked on air. This was gold.

"Roman, it's—" Oh dear, Remus was doubling over. "It's not what it looks like!"

"I won't hesitate—"

The emo cut in. "Don't curse, Patton can and will kill you."

Janus appeared next to him suddenly. "Good evening." Virgil raised his eyebrows. Please tell me he's not going to start screaming with the other two.

"You better stop! You better—aaaAAH—" Remus jumped when Roman pulled his sword out. Naturally, they chased each other around the room and into the kitchen, where Logan popped in (poor guy) with the worst possible timing, seeing as he had arrived just in time to see Roman get smacked upside the head with a Morning Star.

"Can I get a waffle?" he asked in a tired voice.

"Nice!" Virgil called from the living room.

"What did I do?" Logan replied, confused.

"Don't worry about it," Deceit sighed.

Patton rose up in the living room. "Good evening."

"I used that one already," Janus raised his hand.

"What, is this Concentration? No repeats or hesitation? I didn't think so, mister," Patton huffed, leaving a slightly bewildered Janus to cry internally on the couch. "Anyway, I heard what was going on—"

"Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla!" There sounded a crash that seemed heftier than a singular bag of tortillas. After a second, Roman said, "Ayo, you know this boy's got his free taco."

Remus added, "You either kill yourself or get killed."

Wondrously, Roman murmured, "What you gonna do?"

Exasperated, Logan tried again. "Can I please get a waffle?"

"Nice one," Patton gave a thumbs up.

Logan turned towards the three Sides in the living room. "What did I do?"

"Don't..." Janus waved disappointedly. "Don't worry about it."

Remus stood up with his Morning Star and looked down at his brother, whose eyes widened. "Hey—he—I'M A BAD B**** YOU CAN'T KILL ME!"

"Roman!" Patton chided, although the scolding fell upon deaf ears.

The corners of Virgil's mouth perked up when he realized that Remus was bouta kill a man. "It is Wednesday, my dudes," he whispered. He closed his eyes contentedly, listening to the sound of Roman's screams in the background.