PICK ME! {Book Reviews}

Chasing After You By Beckaml

Title: Chasing After You
Chapters: 8 + Bonus Chapter
Complete/Incomplete: Incomplete

Mature/Trigger Warnings: No
Main Idea: Does it interest you/capture your attention? How are the characters? How is the writing?

Dearest Beckaml <3 <3 <3 

Character Overview:

-Creating an attachment to your main characters is essential for writing and can definitely be a struggle. However, I felt this was the opposite of your fiction. I found that they each have different characteristics that set them apart from one another.

*Hazel - This sweet bean and her good intentions made me want to cuddle her. I shall let you assume as to what I'm referring to, so I may avoid spoiling any part of your fiction. There is a tender innocence to the aura that you've given her, so keep up the good work and continue to create her into the character that your reader wants to root for/befriend.

*Denise and Melissa: These two... are a solid foundation of support. I would love to see more background story involving them, but then again, you're only at chapter 8. With your hints towards Hazel's brother, I'd say it's safe to assume there is more in store, right?

*Cayden: I adore the character development with his backstory. It brings me back to psychology class where the phrase "You're a product of your environment" kept repeating in my head. I'm interested in seeing how his father's words shape his growth and whether or not he is able to overcome the deeply rooted negativity. Don't get me wrong though. I don't blame the father for feeling the way he does... I would be just as salty.

KENDALL: Thus far, I find myself rooting for him as if he's going to be an underdog or black sheep. He's definitely my favorite character for the first 8 chapters of the book.

The Dream Team - Zane, Isaac, and Myles: I applaud the addition of a group of boys. I think these three will be great for comic relief.

-Your characters are very "real." They are not immune to the experiences of life, and I enjoy that they're not invincible.

-As much as I enjoy the fun facts at the end of the chapters, I wanted to point out that I bet you could find to work them into your writing. For example, if there happened to be "someone" in the story that falls for a coworker, I would try to show the tension between characters. Cayden is very observant, so he could take notice that this particular character started coming home later at night or the growing tension between her and her significant other.

-Descriptions of Characters: I noticed repetition in the descriptive words for characters, mostly with your focus being on hair and eye color. Here is a link that I feel would be beneficial to you. I find myself needing a reminder to show physical characteristics through traits, and the example from the article says it perfectly.

*Describe actions that reveal physical characteristics.*

"As we'd been talking, she'd pulled [her hair] into a high, loose bun with shorter pieces of hair falling around her face." -Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld

Grammar: I feel that your grammar is on point. I would try to replace the use of "he" and "she" with other identifiers, but overall, it's fantastic. As I mentioned in your comments, I do love your sentence structure. My last comment in regards to the mechanics would be to watch for repetitive words. I am guilty of this as well.

Writing - It's interesting to see the progression from chapter 1 to chapter 8, because it's as if you've become more relaxed the more you write, which allows the words to flow better. The next time that you want to describe what a character is wearing, perhaps have it reveal something about their mood and personality instead of the articles of clothing alone. After all, it's the little details that tell us more. Is the white, button-up shirt smooth and ironed? Free of stains and tucked crisply into the pants of their school uniform? Or perhaps, is the shirt wrinkled, allowing the reader to really take in how distraught they're feeling? When we are depressed, we lack hygiene and keeping up our appearance. Did the purple lettering on someone's shirt match the dark hues beneath their eyes from lack of sleep? You can tie other emotions/actions in the same way. Describing wet, shower-fresh hair to show that the character overslept.. Makeup perfected due to anticipation of seeing their crush, etc. There is a world of opportunities with a little extra detail. For the record, I did notice that you did this some as the book progressed. Lastly, with the writing style, I wanted to point out that your usage of the background story is absolutely fantastic. I wish I did this more myself, so I'll take it as a tip from you ;)

Overall: I believe that you have a lot of potential and are doing a great job. Chasing After You reminds me of the fluffy feels of adolescence while bringing the interworkings of human interactions to the table, highlighting "why we are the way we are." I must say that I truly enjoyed reading this as it left me wanting to know what would happen next, so don't be surprised when I continue to pop up in your comments ;) Keep up the good work with your awesome character development to steadily hook your readers. You have my attention <3

Sincerely, 

ChuChuDokiDoki