Title: Beneath The Surface
Author: Djwinn
Number of chapters: 42
Complete/ongoing: Complete
Mature content: Cuss words
Trigger warnings: Self harm, violence (not explicit), Abuse
Area to focus: Plot, character development.
A lot of the stories I normally read on Wattpad center around love stories, so this was a nice change of pace. And an original work, bravo! What originally stuck out to me about your story was the relatability of the characters; we've all had those insecurities like Norman that can seem debilitating, and the hard work and struggles that Beatris faces trying to make a living for herself and take care of her younger sister at the same time. But then the more I read, I was impressed with the way you introduced flaws into your characters that made them seem more real. Norman and Beatris definitely made some choices that weren't the best, and could come across as problematic. This can be difficult to do when writing because you want the best for your characters, but no one is perfect. Their poor decisions make them seem more human, even as I was upset with the choices they made.
Some things I would recommend to improve would be to include more description in between the dialogue. Tell us what your characters are thinking, feeling, or doing as they are talking with others. This provides your readers with a better understanding and sympathize with the experiences of the characters, and builds exposition to move the story along. I was only able to read a portion of the story so some of this might have come later, but I would have liked to have learned more about the background of the characters too. What did Beatris experience to make her so opposed to falling in love? Tell us more about Norman's childhood with his brother, and the strained friendship with Leonard. It's the details that make a good story great!
Finally, be a bit careful with your pronoun use. Sometimes it could be a bit difficult to keep track of who was talking. Otherwise, keep writing and sharing your stories!
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