PICK ME! {Book Reviews}

Julie Jien 103

Title: Julie Jien 103

Author: blackishfever

Chapters: 45

Status: Complete

Age Range: 16+

Trigger Warnings: None

Focus: Flow, grammar, character development

I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who can write stories in a language that is not their first language. So, props to you! And I think it is really neat how you have incorporated the current historical events we are currently living through into a future where your story takes place. I don't normally read a lot of science-fiction stories myself, but I appreciate the time and effort you have put into creating your futuristic society for your story to take place in, and how it almost feels a bit dystopian too. Especially with the way that the Match seems to work and people don't really have much of a choice in that part of their lives.

What I think I liked most about each chapter was the fun sarcastic humor Julie seemed to have, especially with her inner monologue and with Sky. It's such a fun way to introduce a character's personality and makes it that more fun to read. I also really enjoyed some of great descriptions and exposition you would provide each chapter, especially in some of the earlier chapters. This is one of my favorite parts of reading a story, so I always look forward to reading it when it is well written.

This is most definitely not a criticism on your English skills, which I think are better than you give yourself credit for, but I would recommend taking some time to go back through each chapter for review. I'm not the best at grammar myself, but the examples that stuck out most to me were when people's names were not capitalized (Sky, Colie, etc), and sometimes I think you might mix up or miss words in some sentences. I think it was Chapter 1 when you introduced Colie there were a few sentences about him that felt a bit confusing. I couldn't tell what they were referring to exactly.

In terms of the flow of the story and character development, it definitely has a slow start. Which doesn't have to be a bad thing, slower stories can be so fun to read because they make you wonder what is going to happen next. But I think sometimes you spend a lot of time on parts of the chapters that don't move the story along as well as other parts. So for example, there wasn't much time spent to describe the surprise birthday party Julie had, but I think every chapter has quite a bit of time discussing her morning routine, as she gets ready for the day. Reading the same similar information each chapter can be a bit repetitive and doesn't help the reader get to know the characters as well.

I see that your story has won some awards, which is great! While I didn't have time to read the whole story, I did like what I was able to read and I think you have a nice writing style. Great job!

I hope this helps, and if something doesn't make sense just let me know and I'm always happy to clarify.

~Crimsonfred1