Coworkers || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 23

A month has passed since Emily came back and I'm still not over what happened. I'm still so mad at him. And of course I've been through breakups before but this time is different because my emotions are allover the place. I'm hurt and pissed all at the same time and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I can't even look at him anymore. I talk to him only when it's absolutely necessary for work. The team doesn't mention it because they know better than that.

I only talk to Emily about it because I want her to know that this isn't her fault. After all, it wasn't her idea to do that. I told her the story about my ex and she is the only person, besides Hotch, that has seen me cry over someone which I don't want to do because he doesn't deserve it but I can't help it. Everytime I look at him, I remember how I got fooled again and opened up to the wrong person. Is it that easy? Am I such an easy target?

And to add to the situation, last week I got a request to go back in Seattle field office as Unit Chief in my old department. I have a meeting with the director in Seattle at 5 pm today to discuss some more details. I told Emily about it and she said that I should take some time and really think about it and for sure not take rational decisions. To be honest, aside from the personal problems, it's a pretty good offer but I also don't want to leave the BAU.

Hotch didn't know about it because I didn't want to tell him anything until I had an answer. But the day of the meeting came and I still don't have one. Either way, I need to go tell him that I have a meeting in Seattle today. "Do you want me to go talk to him?" Emily asks as we get out of the elevator
"No. I don't want to give him more reasons to want to get me out of here now" I say
"Ok. But remember whatever decision you make today, I'm gonna support you. Good luck" she says
"Thank you" I say and I head to Hotch's office.

I knock the door and I go in. "Good morning" I say
"Good morning. We're about to start presenting the new case because we need to leave as soon as possible for Arizona so if this isn't important--" he says without looking away from his papers
"It is. Kind of" I say
"I'm listening" he says
"I want to let you know that I'll be flying in Seattle today because I have a meeting with the director of the field office there to discuss about a position that has opened recently. They asked me to fill the Chief Unit of my old department and I'm on my way to go discuss some details and probably give them my answer" I say leaving the papers of "This didn't come through me" he says looking at it
"Yes, I got it directly from Strauss" I say
"Ok. Have you decided?" he asks
"I think so but I'm not 100% sure yet" I say
"Ok. Let me know when you want me to prepare your transfer papers" he says. When? Really? Is he so sure that I'm gonna leave or does he hope that I do?
"Ok" I say letting go of it and I leave his office.

I walk to Emily "I'll see you when I get back" I say
"Wait, how is he?" she asks
"Like he can't wait to kick me out but he also doesn't want to fire me" I say
"Are you sure that you're not overreacting?" she asks
"He asked if I have decided and when I said that I think that I have he said to let him know WHEN I want him to make my transfer papers. Overreacting?" I ask
"Maybe..." she says not wanting to say that I'm right.
"Conference room" Hotch says coming out of his office
"That's for you. Get ready for Arizona" I say
"Always ready. Call me when you get to Seattle" she says
"I will. Bye" I say leaving the BAU.

I called Emily when I was on my way to the FBI field office. It turns out that their case is a bombing. Last night the unsub put a bomb in a small grocery store killing 5 people. Unfortunately that was only his test run. This morning he is threatening to blow up a church with 27 people, including children and himself and they are trying to talk the unsub to stop. She didn't give me more details because Hotch called them.

I was back in Quantico around midnight. I called Emily but she didn't answer which means that they are already on their way back. I open the TV in the living room so I didn't feel so alone. "All hostages that were held, were already safe outside of the church during the explosion but we don't have any information about the two FBI agents that were still inside with the bomber" the reporter says.

I grab my phone again and I call Penelope. "What's happening?" I ask as soon as she picks up
"I've talked with Emily, Derek, Reid and Rossi but I still can't reach JJ and Hotch. I'm still working on it" she says
"Keep me posted" I say and I hung up to let her work on finding them. I sit down and I let my phone on the table right in front of me. I look at it waiting for it to ring again. But every minute seemed like hours.

I grab my phone and I go to my contacts. I called Emily, Derek, Rossi, Reid and JJ but each call rang and then went to voicemail. Then I look at Hotch's contact. I put my finger on it but I don't let go so it will call. I close my eyes and I take a deep breath. I release it and I put the phone in my ear. This call went straight to voicemail "This is SSA Aaron Hotchner. Leave your name and number and I'll return your call as soon as possible" I hear his voicemail. Why did his call went straight to voicemail?

I hung up and I call him again hoping that at least it would ring. "This is SSA Aaron Hotchner. Leave your name and number and I'll return your call as soon as possible" I hear almost immediately
"Can you please call me back? Or at least text me? I know that we haven't been talking lately and that's totally on me but I called because I just got back from Seattle and I saw about the explosion on the news and they say that two FBI agents where in that church. I know that you guys are working there and I'm really worried. I've already called Penelope and she is also trying to reach you now" I say and I try to swallow a sob that was coming out. "Aaron please pick up the phone. I really need to hear your voice right now. I need to hear that you're ok. Please Aaron... Please tell me that you're ok" I say and I hung up before I started crying.