Work Relations || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 62

October 1st
Monday came faster than I thought and it was already time to go back to the BAU. It was also the first day that the kids went to school again after the funeral. Mel doesn't really understand what's happening but Jack does. We agreed on taking this step back to our normal routine together, I go to work and he goes to school. It might not be the best plan but I guess that it works.

I walk in the building and I immediately head to the elevator. I walk inside alone and I turn. The doors start closing but before they closed completely a hand stops the doors.
The doors open again "Hi, you should be the new Agent I'm expecting today. Jessie Grey, right?" he asks
"Yes" I say . I immediately recognized his voice from the phone call. "So must be..." I say offering my hand
"Agent Aaron Hotchner" he says shaking my hand. "It's nice to meet you" he says
"It's nice to meet you too" I say.

The doors open again and I see David. "Good morning" he says
"Good morning" I say quickly and I look down in order to hide my emotions as soon as the doors close. But of course he notices it. He pushes the stop button and doesn't say anything. I walk to the back of the elevator and I put my hands on the wall to manage to stay standing. The knot in my chest was getting worse as I press more emotions down but I don't know for how much longer I can do this. I wipe a tear that managed to escape my eye and I walk back.
"You ok?" he asks
"Yeah" I say and he starts the elevator again. It stops at the 6th floor and quickly I get out first. "Have a good day" I say walking away.

On my way to Cruz's office, I had to walk past the wall of the 'fallen heroes'. I had gotten used to seeing my dad's photo on there but I wasn't ready to see Aaron's photo too. As soon as I turn there, I look down and keep walking. I knock on Cruz's door and I walk inside. "Welcome agent Grey. Need anything before we start? Coffee? Water?" he asks as I enter
"No, thank you" I say and he nods
"Let's head upstairs then" he says and I follow him to the conference room to meet the director.

"Agents, I'm hoping we make this quick because I have an emergency back in the headquarters" he says as soon as we walk in. We nod and sit down. "So agent Grey, I wish that the conditions were different but I need an answer. Agent Hotchner's place needs to be filled" he says
"Of course and yes, I am ready to fill that place" I say
"Great. The papers and everything will be delivered to your office in the next couple of days" he says and I nod. I felt tears form in my eyes again as soon as I heard the words 'your office'. I knew that I was gonna take over Aaron's job and office some day but I didn't expect it to be like this, not because he died.

"Agent Grey!" I hear and I snap out of my thoughts
"Yes sir" I say
"Are you sure you are ready?" he asks
"Yes" I say.
"Don't make me regret choosing a woman for Unit Chief of the BAU" he says
"My former Chief died only five days ago leaving behind a wife and two kids. The father of my children, the love of my life, my husband, my rock, my hero knowingly sacrificed himself and saved me and the team. I will not apologize for having feelings about that. The ability to care while doing my job is what makes me better than those who can't" I explain.
"One mistake and your whole career can and will come done" he says
"Then that's a good thing that I always stand by my words and my choices so if you think you can find a better person to do it, good luck with that" I say and he nods.
"You're starting today and know that I will be keeping an eye on you and the BAU" he says holding out his hand
"No problem" I say shaking his hand.

We leave the conference room and walk back to the elevator. "That was fast" Cruz says
"Yeah" I say
"Are you sure you are ready? I can cover for you if you need a few more days" he suggests
"No, I'm ok. But thank you" I say and he nods
"Let me know if you need anything" he says
"I will" I reassure him and I leave.

I can feel all eyes on me as I walk past the bullpen heading in the office. I immediately close the door and the blinds to get some space. I sit down and I take the name plate from the desk. I look at his name and I tear up again. This time I let a few tears and sobs escape but it was getting worse not better. I finally wipe my tears and I stand back up. I get on empty evidence box and I place it on the desk. It's like a bandaid, you do it fast. I start putting his things inside, including the plate, his awards and diplomas that were displayed on the shelves behind his seat, his credentials and his gun. I open the blinds again and I open the door. I decided to leave his name up there on the door for now and act like I didn't see it.

Penelope walks in the office "Hi" she says
"Hi" I say and I smile
"How... How are you?" she asks hesitating a bit
"I'm... getting through it. Don't worry, I'll be ok" I say and she nods
"If you need anything, I'm here. Whatever you need, you know where to find me" she says
"Thank you" I say and she smiles.
"I'm gonna go back now" she says and I nod.

A few minutes later Emily came. "Good morning" she says knocking on the open door
"Good morning" I say leaving the box with Aaron's things on the floor. "Close the door please" I say and she does.
"What do you need?" she asks as she sits down
"Since I have the this position now and since Derek resigned to go be with his family, we are two agents down. And I don't really want to bring outsiders in this team at this moment. Agent Luke Alvez who I happen to know and had the opportunity to work with in the past when I was in the Seattle field office, starts with us officially today. As it is for the second, I want you to think about coming back here. Just think about it, no pressure and please don't think that you are doing it for me" I say
"I promise that I will think about it" she says
"Thank you" I say and she smiles.

There is a knock on the door "Yes" I say and Penelope opens the door
"We have a case" she says
"Want to join?" I ask Emily
"Definitely" she says
"Great. I'm gonna get this box to my car and I'll be right back to start the presentation" I say
"Are those..." Penelope asks
"Yeah. You gather everyone in the conference room and I'll be right there" I say and I leave.