Coworkers || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 13

A few months have passed and everything seems to be going great. One case after the other are solved successfully and sex is still great. No one is asking questions so hopefully no one is suspecting something.

Today was one more of those days that we had just came back from a case and we had to do paperwork. Most of the team returned home to get some rest because they were exhausted and they'd come earlier tomorrow morning to finish the papers. I decided to stay and finish it tonight so I can get some extra sleep in the morning.

So as soon as I was done, I close the file and I go to Hotch's office. I was surprised when I saw him in his office "I thought I was alone in here. Why was I thinking that you left already?" I ask
"Probably because I walked from in front of you to get some coffee earlier. But I didn't think you even saw me" he says
"I saw you but I thought that you were leaving. I never saw you go back to your office" I say as I try to hide my yawn and he chuckles. "Anyway, they are ready" I say leaving the file on his office
"Thank you. Go get some sleep" he says putting my file on a column of files
"You have to through all these?" I ask pointing at the files
"Unfortunately" he says.

I take a deep breath "Ok, let me help" I say and I sit down
"No, you don't have to. Go get some sleep" he says
"Do you or do you not want to get out of here faster? Go see Jack?" I ask
"Fine" he says finally smiling
"Great. Let me go make some coffee and I'll be right back" I say and I run to the kitchen.

I returned a few minutes later with two coffees and I sat with him in his office. "Thank you for staying" he says breaking the silent that had taken over the room as we were going through the papers
"No problem" I say. "How is Jack?" I ask
"Good. He started preschool this year and he is been happier than ever" he says
"Oh really?" I ask
"Yes. And apparently he has a girlfriend now" he says
"Really? Wow, that was fast" I ask surprised
"Yes. He came home the other day and said 'Dad, I used to like Mary. Now I'm in love with Mary'. I don't know who Mary is" he says and I chuckle
"Well, he currently has a better and healthier love life than I ever had" I say but then I stop writing as soon as I realize what I just said to him.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way" I say and he laughs
"It's fine" he says
"No, it's not. I... Look, I'm gonna tell you but you can't say anything to anyone or start taking guesses" I say
"Ok?" he says letting his pen down and giving me his full attention
"About a year ago, when I was working in the Seattle field office in Washington, I was dating an FBI agent" I say
"Really?" he asks surprised
"Yeah, my ex was an Agent. He still is an Agent" I say
"Who?" he asks
"I would like his name to stay hidden cause of the... things that had happened. That's why I said that you should start taking guesses" I say
"Oh yeah, you're right. Sorry" he says
"It's ok. Let's just say that not every Agent is as clean as they look" I say and he notices that my expression changes.

"He is not around anymore, is he?" he asks
"Thank God no" I say
"Does that have to do with what you said on your first interrogation? 'Maybe he just gave you the attention you needed. I'm telling you this because I've fallen into that trap too' you said" he says
"Wow, I didn't think anyone would remember that by now" I say
"I do" he says and I nod.
"It was really bad Aaron and he made me think that it was normal. He somehow convinced me that all my friends were a bad influence and he managed to control me. He always knew how to turn things up so he was always right and I was wrong" I say looking down because the truth is that I was too embarrassed to look at him. "Three years, two months and six days" I say and I wipe a tear that escaped my eye "It took me three whole years of my life to see it and sometimes I question myself. Can I really be a profiler after that?"
"No, don't say that. You are great at your job. You have helped to save so many people" he says
"I know but... I couldn't see what he was doing to me until it got to the point that on an argument he took his gun out and threatened to shoot me if I didn't shut up" I say and another rolls down my cheek.

"Have you talked to anyone about this?" he asks and I shake my head "Why?" he asks
"Because by the time I left him, I didn't have anyone left. You guys are the first thing that I had after he took everything from me. And you have no idea how much I love all of you. You took me in from the first second, no questions asked and I can't thank you enough for that" I say. "I'm really sorry. I'm a mess" I say wiping my tears
"No, you don't have to apologize" he says taking my hand and rubs the back of it with his thumb.

"If there is anything else, now it's the time to say it and get it out of your chest" he says rubbing my hand.
"He even tried to take all this away from me. The last argument we had was about me applying for this job when I was finishing training. He said 'You don't need to work. I can provide for both of us. Trust me, you don't want to go to work there with them. Women have the worst time in there'. I disagreed with him because I had already talked with women that were already working on different departments. But he started yelling, as usual, and at some point he pulled his gun out and said 'Shut up or I'll kill you, you ungrateful bitch'. The next day I packed my things and disappeared" I say trying to control the breakdown that I felt was coming.

He probably noticed it too and put his hand on my back. I know that he did it to make me feel better but it made me more emotional. "I'm still scared that he's gonna come here for some reason and he'll find me and he'll beat me to death" I say crying
"No, he won't" he says and hugs me letting me cry in his chest. "As long as I'm around, he won't touch you ever again" he says rubbing the back of my head.

"And that's why you rather not to have another relationship" he says
"Yes. I'm really sorry. I know that you are nothing like him but I... I don't know. I guess he broke me" I say
"No, don't say that. He didn't do anything to you because you know very good that his behaviour is due to him trying to seem strong. He is a narcissist and I'm sure that you know it" he says and I nod. "If you feel like what the two of us do pressures you, we can stop" he says
"No, no. I really enjoy what we do. And I'm really sorry for all this tonight, I wanted to help and now I'm stalling you" I say
"Stop apologizing" he says
"Sorry" I say without thinking and he rolls his eyes.
"Here is what you are gonna do. You're gonna go back home and we'll talk tomorrow, ok?" he suggests
"What are you gonna do?" I ask
"Thanks to you, I'm almost done here so I'm gonna leave soon too" he says escorting me to the elevator
"Ok. Thank you" I say
"No problem. Let me know if you need the day off tomorrow. Goodnight" he says
"Ok. Goodnight" I say and and the doors of the elevator closes.