I am the Problem to Everyone's Problem's

10

TW// Purging, Nightmares, Disordered Eating, Talk Of Thinspo, ED Talk

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Akaashi reached for his phone and looked at the screen I peeked over his shoulder and saw Suga's contact Akaashi looked over to me and handed the phone over.

"It'll be for you," Akaashi mumbled I took the phone and answered the call.

"Hey," I mumbled into the phone.

"Oh thank the lord you're safe. Are you with Akaashi?" Suga asked worry laced in his voice.

"Yes, I'm with Akaashi I forgot my keys and Akaashi came to find me so I'm at his place having dinner with him and his mother," I said looking down at the table.

"Ok I'll be there soon just let me get Daichi in the house he drank a little to much," He said hearing a car door open on the other side, "Ok I'll call you later."

"Ok, bye," I said hanging up the phone and giving it back to Akaashi.

"Sorry for interrupting dinner," I said apologetically.

"It's alright but before we dig in, Itadakimasu!" We all said Itadakimasu then we dug into the pasta. In that time I realised that I haven't had pasta in really long and I slurped up the noodles like a mad man. 

The sauce was delicious and thick, and the pasta was cooked to perfection I was done before the rest of them so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned up the mess over my mouth.

"Wow, that was amazing thank you," I said she giggled and nodded at me the noodles that were going into her mouth dropped back into her bowl. I chuckled a little at the expression she made.

"Really you liked it I usually don't hear that," She giggled and looked over to Akaashi in an its-a-joke kind of look I chuckled back and nodded.

"Well I think that Akaashi likes your food because he's still eating it," I say with a bit of humour in my tone she nodded and we both looked over to Akaashi who was fiddling with the fork looking embarrassed. I looked away in guilt for making Akaashi embarrassed.

We just sat there in silence until we heard a knock at the door Akaashi's mother stood up and went to open the door. I heard mumbles and shuffles of feet being heard form the doorway then they came in Suga looking worried.

When Suga saw me he ran to me embracing me in a big mum hug, when he lets go he turns back to Mrs Akaashi.

"Thank you for looking after him and feeding him and also thank you Akaashi for finding him we don't know what he would do if you didn't find him," Suga said in a calming tone, "Well we better be off Daichi hasn't fallen asleep yet and ya know he gets weird when he's been drinking but thank you for your hospitality"

"Thank you for having me," I said bowing I went to the door and slipped on my shoes and grabbed my bag and left into the car. It was a silent trip home it was weird because even the radio wasn't playing and the radio is always on in Suga's car.

When we got home Suga got out of the car quickly and went right inside to look after Daichi I walked into the house taking off my shoes and shuffling over to the stairs my stomach full of the food which now doesn't sit right in my stomach now I head to my room chucking my bag in and making my way down the hall to the bathroom when I entered I locked the door.

I went over the toilet and stood over it looking down into the clear water in the bowl I lift my hand up to my mouth and put it down my throat making me gag I do it more and more until the spaghetti came up making my stomach empty. I flush the toilet and washed my hands looking at myself in the mirror was like seeing a different person my checks had sunken in and you can see my eye bags.

I leave the bathroom and go back to my room and lay on the bed laying on the mattress hoping that it would just swallow me up and put me into a black abyss. I can't seem to fall asleep so I just lay there and look up to the ceiling focusing on it so hard that I didn't realise that my body was forcing me to sleep.

It was dark and it was very claiming but then a figure appeared out of the dark the figure came closer and closer until you could make out the face. I focused on the fac to realise it was Akaashi but I couldn't move towards him my feet were glued to the ground and all he did was wave and then I dropped down.

I awoke with a jolt I tried to look for my phone in the dark and then I found it and turned it on the screen flashed bright I closed my eyes but opened them back up after a few seconds. The screen showed all the notification I got but I just ignored them and went to check the time to was only three-o-four.

I just hoped I could fall back asleep and still wake up with a lot of energy but I couldn't so I just laid there my stomach grumbled a little so to ignore it and went on my phone and looked at Instagram scrolling through I saw everyone smiling and looking happy outside with there friends, I couldn't look at it anymore so I just went onto Tumblr and looked around on all the people I follow which is mostly male thinspo.

I don't know when I got this addiction to looking thin and having to look pretty but I just wanted to be pretty why because of Akaashi he was the perfect person, he had beautiful hair, pretty eyes, a small thin body and a face shaped by the gods. I looked until I couldn't keep my eyes open and I just fall asleep in my tired state I switch off my phone before falling to sleep.

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Word Count - 1031