I am the Problem to Everyone's Problem's

23

TW// Yelling, Intrusive Thoughts, Thoughts of Suicide, Panic Attack
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This new feeling was amazing it was flowing through my body, it was like electricity lighting me up making me walk like I was on clouds. Walking down the street never felt this good I was walking down my street when I realised that I would be graduating soon. Graduation was something that I thought that I would never attend but I guess I'm here and I'm going to graduate.

I had made a plan when I was really suicidal that if my attempts to kill myself didn't work I was going to do it after graduation because I would be able to have alone time after graduation to have a breather.

Thinking about this plan now I was unsure because when thinking about it again and again just made me wonder if I should do it that I was a burden but I shouldn't really be thinking that now my crush is now my boyfriend.

When I walked into the house I knew the mood was different and something happened it must have been Daichi having a bad day or a really disgusting case which he got assigned to, so I slipped off my shoes at the door and walked into the living room. There lay Daichi and Suga on the lounge cuddling together.

"Hey, is something wrong?" I asked just treading lightly to make sure that I was stepping in the right area only Suga turned his head slightly and just shook it and that was my sign to take my leave.

I walked up the stairs forgetting to have something for dinner but I was still a little full from the picnic that we had.

Walking into my room I let out a long breath of air all of today was just a dream really I felt so much better than any other days that I've had in my state of mind. I threw my bag to the side and throwing myself onto the bed and then that's when it started to happen the thoughts of death lurked into my mind again I really didn't want these thoughts to come back I thought I outgrew them and they finally left but they didn't.

I blocked my ears trying to get rid of the noises of the thoughts but they didn't leave my breath started to quicken in pace my chest tightened and it was getting hard to breathe. I tried to calm down but it didn't work I went downstairs and went to the front door slipping on my shoes and running out of the house.

Tears start to slip out of my eyes running down my cheeks as the air dries them from my running. I find myself at the park I tried to stop crying while walking through the park wiping the fresh tears off my cheek. My breathing had calmed down a lot more than what it was but the tears didn't stop.

I found myself at my old spot in the pipe, many thoughts have made its way into my mind but the main one is that I will be leaving school soon only in a few weeks will I have graduated High School and left the place leaving Akaashi and I didn't like the thought of abandoning him.

What type of boyfriend would I be if I was in college and can't see my own boyfriend keep him company all because I'm studying. These thoughts overwhelmed me that I lost all contact with the world staring at the moss growing on the side of the pipe.

After coming to my senses I realised that I lost track of time and that it was now very dark. I made my way out of the pipe trying to see the path of the park seeing that this back in the park has no lights. I knew that I found the path when I heard the gravel crunch underneath my feet.

After a bit of walking, I finally see a lamp in the main bit of the park. I walk a bit faster the wind picking up making the leaves in the bushes rustle the fresh cool breeze against my tear-stained face was relaxing of a sort I moved my face around trying to get the dry feeling of tears off my face.

I walk down the gravel path to the front of the park where the road is seen clearly at this point I don't really have a clue what the time is but I knew it was late so I made my way up the path and walked the route back to Daichi's place.

When I got to the door I saw through the windows that the lights where still on and I knew that I was about to get into a lot of trouble so I made up some courage and walked through the front door slipping out of my shoes and walking towards the kitchen.

I heard quiet whispers as I slowly walked across the wooden floor as soon as I peeped my head around the corner of the kitchen wall it was game on.

"Where have you been young man," Daichi asked in a stern voice I looked to Suga and his eyes told me it was up to me now.

"You know that I was in a bad mood already and now you go away for three hours without telling us anything what is wrong with you kid? You know what your grounded until you graduate go to your room!" He yells Suga looks apologetic to me I just nod at Fairchild keeping my head down to the ground tears welling up in my eyes.

I walk out of the kitchen and run up the stairs going to my room and flopping onto my bed and letting out the tears I was trying to hold in my good thoughts have now turned bad and it was hard to control.

Then the plan was made I knew what I had to do now that I know that all the people around me are lying about everything.

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Word Count - 1081

Hey guys sorry for not posting for so long I've had no inspiration but here is a new chapter I hope you like it I hope there a no spelling mistakes and please if there is a trigger please state it because I never in my life would want to trigger someone.