Dark and Dirty

Chapter 10

Madison Ivery

The moon is barely seeping through the thick curtains of the french door, ngunit may liwanag pa din kahit papaano kaya bahagya kong naaninag ang dingding at ang marbled floors. It somehow helps me think.

Alejandro is beside me. His strong arms are wrapped around my waists. His warm breath is fanning the back of my neck. Hindi ko masyadong maramdaman ang ibaba ng kanyang katawan, it's like he's putting space between us, barely.

Hindi ako makatulog. The things that he said to me were ringing and still trying to sink into my head. I am bothered by what he said but I am even more disturbed with the fact that I am not feeling any disgust or fear.

I am not creeped out or afraid that after he saved me from the unnamed people he refused to tell me, he stalked me, put cameras in my house and took time to know me. Which is morally and ethically questionable but for me, I can't see anything wrong with it.

I should see it as immortality but I can't. Instead all I can feel is how safe he makes me feel and how comfortable his warmth is and how I like the feeling of it. I work for the law, hell my job is a lawyer yet I'm not moved or bothered by all these. May mapagmahal at suportado akong pamilya, I have a best friend, a stable life and a career, I have no criminal offenses. I basically grew up stable and little miss perfect, just like what Alejandro said. I should be feeling creeped out but once again, I don't.

I am saying all these, to make sense of what I'm feeling because right now, it doesn't fucking make sense. If something doesn't add up for me, I think about the solution day and night until it finally makes sense pero mukhang malabo iyon. I am trying to react like a typical person would if you hear a killing or really disturbing stuff from the person you fucked and currently staying with. Instead I acted out of my instinct which hugged him and let him sleep beside me.

"Are you scared of me?" His deep voice rumbled.

My thoughts stopped and my eyes widened when I heard his raspy voice. Lumunok ako ay sinubukang hindi gumalaw at ipikit ang aking mga mata. Hoping that he would feel that I'm sleeping.

"Madison, alam kong gising ka. I know the rhythm of your calm breathings."

Bahagya akong dumaing at sinubukang tanggalin ang kanyang mga braso sa aking mga bewang.

"Where are you going?" Iritadong tanong niya na bahagya ko na ikinairap.

"I need to stand up. I-I need space to breath, please." Sagot ko kaya mabilis niya akong binitawan. I snatched the covers away from me and stood up. Napaigik ako nang maramdaman ko ang hapdi. Tumagos ang lamig ng aircon sa aking suot na silk na pajama at v-neck na t-shirt.

"Uh-uh, I can do it." Maagap kong sabi akmang tatayo siya.

Pinaandar ko ang lamp shade. He scooted and sat down, The light illuminated on his bare hard abdominal muscles. I can see some scars on his olive skin and his broad tattooed chest, up to his bear covered strong jaw. Mapupungay ang kanyang mga mata. His hair is sexily disheveled. The duvet is hugging his waists.

I looked away and tried to focus on what I was supposed to say.

"L-look, hindi ako takot sa'yo which scares the hell out of me," I am pacing..slowly because my down there still hurts but I usually do this if I'm either scared or freaking anxious. Humarap ako sa kanya. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Ever since you entered my life. I sould be seeing all the wrongs.The stalking, the cameras and now, you killed people a-and I-I, fuck," Napahilot ako sa aking sentido. The cameras saved my life a couple of times as a matter of fact but installing cameras in somebody's house are not a normal person would do, if you wanna get to know them.