Polar Opposites

t h i r t y : n o t a g a i n

THIRTY: n o t  a g a i n

"I'm going to kill him, I'm going to f**king kill him," Elliot announced pacing quickly. I had admitted that telling Celia right away wasn't a good idea I would have to figure out the right way to break it too her. I wasn't very good at coming up with schemes under pressure so I had hoped that Elliot and Ava could help me.

Sadly I hadn't prepared myself to tell them so once we we're all safely seated in Theresa the words had just slipped out.

"Finn is cheating on Celia."

Now Ava was sitting in shock and I could see the wheels trying to turn in her head.

Elliot on the other hand was furious, looking back I don't know why I'd ever thought telling him could be a good idea.

"What should we do?" I asked trying to encouraged then to think straight.

"Are you sure it was him?" Ava asked.

"Who else could it have been?" I asked and she rose her eyebrows and what she was implying clicked innmy head. I noticed I hadn't given them the details. " I thought that at first too but then I bumped into Austin while Finn was still in the room.

"This is bad," Ava said falling back into her state of semi shock.

"That's the understatement of the century," Elliot mumbled.

"The poor thing, how are we going to tell her Finn's cheating?" Ava asked slowly pulling back to reality.

"Your asking the wrong questions. The real question is how am I going to tell Austin I killed his twin?" Elliot said.

"Let's all just take a deep breath for a second and assess our options," I said trying to take the lead.

"We don't have time for weird breathing we need to tell Celia," Ava decided as she pulled out her cellphone which before even I could snatch it from her was taken by Elliot and stashed in his back pocket.

"We have to approach this the right way," Elliot said his voice suddenly calm which managed to make me more worried than I had been 2 minutes ago.

"You think there's a right way to approach this?" Ava asked her voice teetering on the edge of fury and sadness.

"I know there's a wrong way," Elliot said. "If we all approach her at once she's going to feel cornered." Elliot finally took a seat again at the table. I noticed exactly how many people were viewing us as evening entertainment.

"If she finds out on her own she'll be furious that we didn't say anything," Ava pointed back. I didn't know exactly what to say so I sat by silently waiting for things to cool down.

"I'm not saying we should do nothing, I'm saying we need a game plan," and just like that Elliot started to lay out plans that I wasn't sure I understood as he tried to walk us through it with quick words and big hand gestures.

^^^

The next day at school I didn't know how to be myself. Yes we had a plan and we were putting it in action tomorrow, but everything seemed oddly dull today. During English I didn't even bother looking up to see Austin, I knew he was there but I didn't feel the need to bother. All I was doing was torturing myself.

Austin had moved on, he may have never been all that interested to start with and I was slowly getting tired of waiting for things to go back to the way they had been.

Once lunch finally came around I wasn't hungry, neither were Ava or Elliot it would seem. Our dreary moods set the whole table on edge and it just got worse when Celia skipped up humming some optimistic tune I didn't recognize.

The bubble of guilt caught between my lungs grew when Finn walked up to the table taking a seat next to her. Everything seemed somuch clearer now in a way it hadn't before. The way his eyes skipped over hers settling anywhere else when she spoke to him, or the way he leant away from her slightly.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" A voice asked breaking me from my thoughts. My eyes met Austin's who currently stood behind me. I stood quickly clumsily almost knowing over my chair, way to be graceful Kristy.

We walked out to the hall in silence.

"What were you thinking telling them?" Austin shot the second after he made sure the hall was clear. I panicked and immediately my instincts kicked in.

Lie.

"I didn't tell anyone," I said lifting my chin attempting to create an air of confidence. I wasn't very good at it.

"I don't know what you think your playing at, but it's completely obvious. What did you even think you'd archive by telling them?" Austin asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry that I'm not you, and I can't just keep secrets and do the right thing by myself all of the time. I needed to talk to someone," I tried to explain, but even I didn't quite know what I was trying to say. I had never been good at making decisions, and it's one thing when their for yourself, but when your decisions can effect someone else I panic because I want to do the right thing. The only issue is I can never figure out the right thing until it's too late.

"You could have talked to me," Austin said now sounding upset. I wanted to talk to Austin, I wanted to talk to him about so many things. His brother wasn't one of them though.

"Could I have? I never know when we are or aren't on speaking terms anymore. I don't want things to be like this anymore," I said sounding pathetic.

"Would you change anything? That's happened between us, I mean," he asked. As the words left his mouth his eyes seemed to be searching for something in mine. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and I panicked.

Instincts kicked in.

Lie.

"No."

Silence. Then the sounds of footsteps as he walked away. Remember when I said I could never tell what the right decision was until it was too late? This was one of those moments.

^^^

"I just really can't believe it," Ava said as we sat in my room after school. We were studying. My room was once again a mess and my mom would probably have me clean it this weekend.

"He's still the same guy," I said with a shrug. Yes he'd done something wrong but he would still always be the little boy to me who could do no wrong.

She groaned in frustration. "After all of this after everything, your still going to say something like that?" Ava asked astonished. I didn't understand how she could think differently, he was our best friend. Yes he had been distant for the past 3 or 4 months but that shouldn't change anything.

"He's our best friend," I argued.

"I know that, but you've got that look in your eye. The one you used to have when you had a crush on him," Ava accused. I thought about it.

"It was just so much simpler. Austin is so confusing and I never know what he's thinking," I said letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Why would you want simple? The only reason things with Finn seemed simple was because you knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. He was safe, Austin's different and you're scared so you're just going to throw all of It away?" Ava asked.

"What if this a sign? Obviously Finn Isn't happy with Celia," I said. I honestly didn't know what to feel anymore, I didn't know what to think. I was so confused.

"Are you kidding me? I can't deal with this drama anymore. Talk to me when you figure yourself out," Ava said storming out of my room. I could hear her angry footsteps down the stairs and the front door slam behind her.

Later I heard my mom knock on the door. I didn't say anything.

"Are you okay honey?"

Perfect.

AN

So that was... um? An update, so that's gotta count for something. Sorry this is late. I know it's been a long journey but we're nearing the end 5 chapters left! ILYSM♡