Never Say Never

{24} Cigarette and Ash

97 Days More

I know how hard it is to stay away from certain people. The worst type of addiction is the one that gives you a temporary pleasure just before it crushes you. And the worst type of people are the ones who can make you do whatever they want you to. Only because they know -as much as you do- that you can't live without them. I know them well. I've figured them out. If I wrote a test about them, I would for sure kill it. I wish you all to stay away from addictions like drugs, smoking, alcohol and people like them. Nevertheless, we live in a world full of fools and the best thing you can do, is to find someone to be silly together.

Panos: What's your addiction?

Me: What do you mean?

Panos: What makes you do whatever it wants you too?

Me: Alex sometimes.

I didn't actually believe that Alex would leave; I thought he took that decision during an emotional crisis.

The user is typing...

Panos: What's up with him?

Me: He's disappeared. For real. I can't get him. I can't figure out what's wrong with him. We got in a fight before he left and then I don't know why but I went to his house because I was feeling bad, cause it was kinda my fault and..

Panos: That 'I went to his house' staff never ends well.

Me: Truth is.. if he hadn't stopped me.. I don't think I would still be a virgin!

I don't doubt even a bit the feeling of guilt that takes over me as I realize how ridiculous that sounds. I would for real had sex with Alex? The person I owe so much hate? However.. as long as I was thinking of his hard fingers touching me, every inch of my flesh was shivering. This torturing burn appears only with him. All my senses tell me I need more of him and that this insatiable feeling could be eternal.

Panos: That's what I'm talking about..

I was expecting him not being really happy about it. But I wasn't happy with me either.

Panos: Eva he's bad for you.

Panos: Get over with him.

Panos: He's gonna screw you and then leave you. Believe me I know how it goes. Then you have no idea how much advantage he can take from that.

Panos: He can't offer you anything. He'd messed with you enough.

I sigh as I flip my hair to the other side with my hand. How is it even possible that a person caused me so much harm and I still can't hate him? It's like I only see his good side, the funny one and I force myself under dormancy to undergo his bad self.