To assert dominance (Draco x Mattheo)

S E C R E T S

I feel lost. My mind travelling back to the girl that arrived at Hogwarts a mere few weeks ago. Oh how quickly I have changed. I think it would be a lie to say that I completely turned my emotions off, I don't believe anyone can do that. I've learnt to understand that some emotions are inferior to others. That sometimes you need to be cold toward people, in order to protect yourself. Having been lied to my whole life, and now being forced to serve a lord of which I know near to nothing about... it changed me. I don't really feel like myself, but maybe that's for the best. I've pledged my blind loyalty to the dark lord, and with my sense of morality being damaged by every breath that I take, it doesn't feel wrong like I know it would have... if I had not have changed.

As I race around the castle looking for Cedric, my mind swirling, I begin to ponder a concept of which I had yet to face. What about Draco? I feel so deeply about him, though I would never allow him to know that. People like Draco only use these feelings against those that show it to them. I feel a warmth when I'm with Cedric, a sense of calm.. however I also have a powerful feeling that I do not belong in his arms, no matter how comfortable. I know it would never work. It's stressful, having to always angle my forearm in a way of which he won't be able to see my mark, or ensuring it's covered even. If Cedric finds out, my entire plan will be blown. I need to detach that warm feeling with reality. I have a job to do, and failing is not an option.
It is not realistic to imagine a life with Cedric Diggory.

Consumed in my deep thoughts, I had walked blindly into a part of the castle I had not yet been before. "Shit" I mumble to myself, confused on how I get myself out of here. I spin around on my heel and walk back the way I came, but as I continue to walk, I hear a familiar voice. I peer into a rather abounded classroom, only to see Draco forcing a girl by her throat down onto the ground. I cough loudly, both of them snapping their heads in my direction. "If you wouldn't mind, I'm with my girlfriend" he says giving me a smirk, knowing I had only said something similar to him moments ago. I give him a fake smile before looking directly at the girl who was blushing at his comment, "don't blush too hard love, you've probably already contracted the disease". Her face cringes up before she quickly stands up and races out of the classroom, sending both Draco and I a dirty look as she leaves.

I couldn't help but giggle as she raced off. I could see Draco about to speak but before he could, I stepped out of the doorway and locked the door with my wand before muttering "muffilato". I can see Draco talking behind the glass but can't hear a word. I stand there grinning before waving goodbye and walking off in the direction the girl stormed off in.

As I finally make my way back to the library, I decide to search for Hermione. I notice she's seated in the same place she always sits. I walk up to her before saying "hey mione, how are you?". Engrossed in the book she was reading, she simple says "fine" as she continues reading. "Look I have another book I need, it's about a cabinet" I say nervously. "A-a cabinet?" Her face contorts as she peers at me from her book. "Yeah like one that's supposed to make things disappear or something" I say. "Uhhh, a vanishing cabinet?" She asks. "Uh yeah one of those" I say. She huffs before saying "fine, I'll find a book on it for you but no more! You're asking for such strange things to read when you'll be better off studying charms or potions for class. I can only imagine how behind in class you ar—" I cut her off. "Hermione, please. It's important" I say. "Okay okay I'll stop lecturing you now. I'll let you know when I have it" she says. "Okay, thank you so much" I beam before getting up and leaving.

Vanishing cabinet hey. I wonder why Draco's getting mixed up in this, and for the dark lord? I highly doubt he's interested in a bloody magic trick. Where does it vanish to I wonder?

As I approach the common room, Nocturna drops a letter into my hands. I make my way through the common room into my dorm before locking the door and opening the letter. It's from my mother.