UNTAMED FEELINGS.(Published)

AUSTINS POV

What the fuck....jenny is asking someone else out.That very thinking send shivers through my entire body.I literally ran out to backyard to clear my head .Recently because of change in her friends behavior I had feeling that jenny likes someone .But I never assumed jenny to man up and ask someone out type of girl.

This means that she is damn serious about the Guy.Why didn't she updated me about her feelings then..?

Not a big deal...you are not her boyfriend or something....

My inner mind tried to think positively ...The act of kindness of my inner mind didn't helped even a bit though.I was still feeling hurt. Even though jenny's decision of loving someone else was Right it didn't seemed Good....Why...?

Because  you love her Idiot....My inner evil voice spoke up again.As if I didn't know it.

When I had met her for the first time I wasn't planing to fall in love with her.I wasn't even looking for another friend,But Jenny changed all that.It all started with a a small silly crush and slowly turned into something stronger.The attraction was electric and unexpected.She entered my life and literally turned it upside down.My mind tried to take control over my feelings but heart won over my mind and now I am hopelessly in love with her.Who wouldn't love such innocent sweet girl..? 

But She dosent love me back it was  proved by  now and this made my heart ache.

My blood boils at fastest rate when ever River or Recce try to flirt with her.I have never experienced such jealousy.

I know I am not Good for her still I get jealous thinking that some one else could make her happier than me.Someone else can hold her in his arms and not me.

During lunch , when everyone was talking about Mr Harshal's so called beauty...the dreamy smile on Jenny's face left a glint of sadness on my heart.Even when River linked Jenny with Mr Harshal I felt like punching River then and there.This feeling of jealousy and uneasiness was totally different.

It was totally going to kill me.

Even when jenny was searching for Mr Harshal I felt like Mr Harshal will take jenny away from me forever.I know I was thinking like mad lover. But The feeling of losing her scared me to hell. Even though there was nothing between us more than friendship my concern towards her scares me like hell.I don't want to be one side lover.Sadly I was becoming one. I searched Mr Harshal for her.I never ever visit the staffroom. Few professors were stunned at their place .I must say the look on their face was was worth visiting staffroom.

When jenny informed me she didn't like Mr Harshal in that way I left a huge sigh I didn't knew I was holding.I felt like loads of weight being removed from my shoulder.When I was selected for Romeo I forced everyone to vote jenny as Juliet..I didn't wanted any other boy to hold her in his arms.I cant Risk of him falling falling for her.She is damn innocent to choose the guy.I guarantee she must have even chosen this guy without thinking much.But once I get to know that guy I am surely going to search for his history and geography.

Even when Mr Harshal complimented jenny I felt like ripping his head from his body even though his compliment was true.

Even during watching the movie, her scared face broke my heart into thousand pieces.I know it was just a horror movie but I felt like protecting her and making her feel safe in every condition.

God I love this girl soo muchhhh.....

But I cant tell her right...Not when my life is totally unorganized and screwed.I cant spoil her life for sake of my happiness.She deserves a much better guy who is not haunted by his past and who can make her smile in every walks of her life by being beside her forever.

I want happiness for her which is certainly not being with me .Then now when she is taking right step by asking someone else out why I am acting so weird..? I should he happy she dosent likes me.All the recent signs of her being towards me are false.But here my heart is not ready to be happy .Even though it knows that jenny had made right decision .Even though it knows I am not Good for her it still wants to be her..
Why heart has to intrude in personal lives..Why cant it just do its work of pumping blood. ...?

I cant be selfish like my heart.I cant ruin jenny life.That incident has totally fucked my life and it haunts me 24×7.

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Guys I know this chapter is small but I assure you next chpter will be bigger and full of twists and suprises...Sorry for late updates...but I am busy nowadays in colleges cultural programs and also in searching tittle for this stry...

Soon u vl get next update and different title for this stry...plz comnt more on privious chaptrs.

Thnks alooooooooootttttttt to all the readers for supporting me....your votes and coments means a lottt...It makes me smile even in hard tym....love you readers... love you wattpaders...