"I LOVE YOU TOO, RALPH."
Those words I uttered one year ago echoed again in my mind.
I closed my eyes and suddenly my memories brings backs everything.
"When you said I love you too, that means, you already answered me a yes?" He asked after realizing why I am ignoring his I love you's.
I nodded and he just smiled.
"I'll wait for your I love you too, Kendra."
Why I am not replying to his I love you's? Besides the fact that he's just still courting me and we aren't still in an official relationship, I want to tell him, I love him too when I already did. I want to tell him, "I love you too" with all my heart. And I'm lucky because he's willing to wait for that day to happen.
7 months ago since he started to court me yet I didn't felt that he is tired of me. He always letting me felt that I am the only girl in his heart. At kahit nililigawan niya palang ako— tinuturing na niya akong prinsesa. He really treated me special.
He's not just telling me how much he loves me by his words but on his actions too. And that's the reason why I am now falling.
7 days to go and his 20th birthday will come. Mahal ko na siya ngayon at handa na ako para sabihin ang mga salitang hinihintay niya, pero minabuti kong pigilan ang sarili ko, dahil alam kong sa ika-pitong araw ay ang espesiyal na araw niya at alam kong iyon ang magiging espesiyal na regalo para sa kaniya.
"Advance happy birthday, Ralph!" I greeted while holding a bouquet of flowers coming from him.
"Thank you, Kendra. I love you." I just smiled and tapped his shoulder. Alam kong hindi na siya makapag-antay, but sorry, I'll gave you my "I love you too" when it's already your birthday.
"Uuwi ka na?" I asked out of nowhere.
"O-oo." He taken a back, pero hindi pa 'man siya nakakaisang hakbang ay muli siyang humarap.
"Wala ka na ba talagang sasabihin?"
"Ingat ka! Bye bye!" Kita ko ang pagkadismaya sa mukha niya matapos 'yon, pero nagpaalam nalang siya at tuluyan ng umalis.
Not now, Ralph. Just wait.
-
It's now his 20th birthday— the day I was waiting for. Hindi na ako makapag-antay na makita kung gaano ba siya sasaya sa oras na masabi ko ang mga salitang 'yon.
"Happy birthday, Ralph!" I greeted.
"T-thank you, Kendra."
"May sasabihin pa ako," dagdag ko habang suot ang hanggang tengang ngiti.
"A-ako rin may sasabihin, pero mauna ka muna."
"I love you too, Ralph!" Sigaw ko at agad siyang niyakap, pero hindi pa 'man nagtatagal ay kumalas siya mula rito. Kita ko rin ang kakaibang ekspres'yon niya.
"B-bakit Ralph? H-hindi ka ba masaya? I already said I love you too. I'm now your girlfriend!"
"I-I'm sorry." Those two words made me felt something bad inside me. Why?
"W-what do you mean?" I stuttered.
"This is what I wanted to tell, hindi ko na kailangan ang sagot mo. I already have a girlfriend. I'm sorry." Matapos marinig 'yon mula mismo sa kaniyang bibig ay bigla nalang akong nawalan ng lakas.
"H-how? W-why?" Iyon na lamang ang kumawala sa bibig ko. Naguguluhan ako.
"Remember the day I gave you a bouquet of flowers? Before I leave, I ask you kung wala ka na bang sasabihin, I'm expecting for you to say those words, but you didn't. That day, I met Aerielle, my girlfriend. Niligawan ko siya agad at hindi pa nakakatatlong araw, sinagot niya na ako. Nagising na lang ako na sobrang mahal na mahal ko na siya kahit sandali pa lang kami magkakilala and I'm sorry for that, Kendra. Napagod kasi ako, nasabik ako sa pagmamahal at siya ang nagbigay no'n."
"No, please no. No, no, you love me right? Please. I love you too. I love you too, Ralph." Pagmamakaawa ko habang hawak ang kamay niya.
"I'm sorry, Kendra. Hanggang dito na lang tayo. I don't love you anymore." Mabilis niyang tinanggal ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay niya at iniwan akong luhaan.
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko sa paghagulgol. I regret everything. 'Yong araw na pinaghandaan at pinakahihintay ko bigla nalang naging ganito. Dapat hindi ko na pinigilan ang sarili kong sabihin ang mga salitang 'yon. Dapat hindi ko na hinintay pa ang araw na ito, sana hindi ito nangyayari ngayon. Ang sakit!
Mumulat ako mula sa pagbabalik ko sa nakaraan. Pinahiran ko ang luhang hindi ko namalayang pumatak at bumulong habang pinagmamasdang magdikit ang labi nilang dalawa sa harap ng altar.
Akala ko mas sasaya. Akala ko magiging exciting. Pero ang akala kong araw na ikakasaya naming dalawa ay ang araw pala na ikakasakit kong mag-isa.
BECAUSE THE DAY I SAID, "I LOVE YOU TOO" IS THE DAY HE SAID, "I DON'T LOVE YOU" TOGETHER WITH "I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE."
