A/N: Some of you guys wanted a part 2 of TSP. I'm not sure if i'll write a part 2. The relationship wasn't healthy, i wrote a whole a message at the end about putting yourself first. And dont make excuses for others, and dont waste your time on people who doesnt deserve your time or love. Me putting them back together, despite having a unhealthy relationship. And harry finally putting himself first, just diminishes what i wrote at the end. Hope you can understand. Also am i getting better with angst?
Sumarry: Louis has a eating disorder while in the band. Disclaimer: harry is not famous
Louis pov
People always wish for fame, but I'd give it up in a heartbeat. What comes after the fame is excruciating; the constant judgment, having to be perfect, having to smile in front of camera when you're actually dying inside.
"Louis, you've been at the note for hours. Why don't you take a break and get something to eat" Niall said breaking out of my thoughts? The thought of food made me want to gag, food wasn't an option had to be perfect. I turned to look at him giving him a soft smile even though my stomach was begging for something to eat.
"No, its okay. Go on without me" Niall gave me a smile before walking off with the other boys.
Later that day we all gathered around for dinner I ate even though I didn't want but I had to keep up the impression that nothing is wrong. Even though I completely threw the food I ate that night. Soon after everyone left to go home, I got into the house and see my boyfriend of 2 years Harry sitting on the couch reading other teen romcom. I plopped down next to him and laid my head on his lap and he ran his fingers through my hair.
"How was rehearsals babe" I nodded before saying good. In the back of my head there's a thought that I would never be good for Harry and he could find someone totally more handsome and less fat.
"Babe are you okay" Harry reads me like an open book. "Yea, I'm okay. I'm just tired...long day"
He looked at me with concerned eyes I could tell that he knew something was wrong...much more but he didn't want to push.
"Well then we should get to bed" he said cheerfully slamming his book closed and picks me up. My immediate thought was that I was too heavy, but he continued to carry me into our bedroom laying me down on the bed. I got undress and soon into the covers with him snuggled up to his side feeling his warm body heat.
NEXT DAY
The next day was the worse by trainer said I gained 3 pounds that made me feel like shit. I excused myself to the bathroom and threw up. I flushed the toilet and got off the floor, I left the stall and looked into the mirror I looked like absolute shit...who would find me attractive not Harry that's for sure. I turned on the sink and washed my face with some cold water before heading out the bathroom. My trainer asked if I was okay, but thing was I wasn't, but I put on a fake smile and we got back to work.
I know what I've been doing isn't okay but it's the only thing that I can control that my management couldn't. I got home from the gym my muscles were tired, I took off my clothes and took a quick shower, after the shower I put some clothes on, but my shorts were too tight.
'well look at it seems like our boy has gained some weight I wander how Harry would feel. He'd probably just dumped your fat ass and moved onto to someone better. Face it Louis you will never be good enough for him or anybody and sooner or later he will see that' the voice in my head told me. I looked in the mirror and saw tears filling my eyes maybe he right. The door open I turned to see Harry at the doorway. He rushed over to me when he saw my tear-filled eyes,
"Baby what's wrong?" he cooed at me. I shook my head, but he didn't like my answer. He gently grabbed my chin to face towards him and started into my eyes.
