Wei Ying's destroyed heart (Complete) Edited

22: Wei Ying lost in his own dream.

Wei Ying opened his eyes to find nothing around, just white.

At first he didn't understand why it was so white until it suddenly sunk in; he was in the middle of a very dense fog.

It was so thick that when he lifted his hand and extended it out as far as he could, he was not able to see his fingers.

There were no sounds and he liked that.

There was no smells and he liked that also.

There was no one but him and fog.

That fog that wrapped around him and held him tight.

So he just stayed sitting there not even wanting to walk anywhere to find a way out. This was nice and quie .....

'Wei Ying.'

He felt his breath catch in his lungs at the sound of a desperate Lan Zhan calling out his name. His footsteps hurried, stumbling now and then .... That also showed his desperation to find him. The most sure footed man he knew ... was stumbling.

However, he didn't want to let him know were he was.

He knew he was born to stay alone and this was the perfect way for that to happen.

A fog no one could see through was his perfect home.

So he remained quiet.

Refusing to even move in case the sound of the material of his clothes told Lan Zhan were he was.

'Wei Ying?'

'...' he sat there listening as Lan Zhan was slowly moving around him from left to right and each time he called out he seemed to move just that bit further away.

'Wei ......Ying?'

'...' If he moved far enough away, it would be quiet again. But still he listened to Lan Zhan calling out his name in desperation.

'Wei ........... Ying?'

'Wei ..................... Ying?'

Lan Zhan had almost moved out of ear shot but even then, Wei Ying could hear him calling out as he roamed around him before returning to the same direction he started from.

'Wei .......Ying?'

'...' Lan Zhan had moved back towards him but still going in a circle.

'Wei ...... Ying?'

'Wei ..... Ying?

'Wei .... Ying?'

'Wei ... Ying?'

'Wei .. Ying.'

'...' he held his breath as slowly but surely Lan Zhan moved in a spiralling motion around him and drew closer and closer to where he was. He wondered if he should get up and leave now but .... He just couldn't be bothered moving.

'Wei Ying.' Lan Zhan said right behind him, letting his relief show in his voice. 'I finally found you.'

'...' he felt Lan Zhan sit beside him and like lightning, he pulled Wei Ying onto his lap and wrapped is arms around him.

'I finally found you. I'm so sorry I lost you Wei Ying; I swear I will never leave you again. I will never leave you Wei Ying.' He wrapped his arms tightly around Wei Ying and smiled contently as he dropped his head and smelt him. 'I almost forgot what you smelt like Wei Ying. That sweet flower you use in your bath water ... how I love it.'

'You should leave and go back to your family.'

'Never. I am staying with you from this moment on.'

'You need to go back to the life you had.'

'Wrong ... you are my life Wei Ying ... if I leave you; I may as well die this time for I know I will never live through loosing you again. This is the last time I will let you stray from my side. This is the last time I will allow anyone, even my family, to hurt you. If a dog dares to come near you, I will kill it for you. If Jiang Cheng says anything mean to my Wei, I will cut him down. If uncle disrespects Wei Ying, I will cut him from our lives for ever. The only one I can not live without .... Is you Wei Ying.'

Wei Ying finally lifted his face and looked at Lan Zhan and felt his heart race uncontrollable at the sight of the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. 'I may never ... be wholly yours again ... my heart .... Hurts too much .... And .... I .....' he needed to stop talking as Lan Zhan had placed his fingers over his lips.

'I do not care any more. I will always, in every respect, be yours and I will spend the rest of this life and any other I own, making it up to you and winning your heart wholly. So one time when we are together your heart will no longer hurt because of me and you will be mine as much as I'm yours.'

'...' Wei Ying felt his mouth fall open at Lan Zhan's utter devotion to winning him heart and soul ... and while sitting there embracing him with that bloody magnificently beautiful smile. That's right .... This is just a dream so that is why he says the words I want to hear him say the most. It's not really Lan Zhan saying them, It's my own mind. He will never lo .... Stop thinking like that. Instead of having to look at him, Wei Ying rested his head on Lan Zhan's chest and heard his heart racing and his breath moving in and out of his chest. Can he be whole again? Can he whole heartedly trust Lan Zhan with his .... Love one last time? Not that he could ever tell the man he loved him. Not that he could ever explain what happened at the inn the last time they shared one room together. That was the first time Lan Zhan had ever pushed him away. He didn't want that again.

'It's alright now My Wei, I am here and I have you. You can rest now and start to heal.'

He felt those remarkably strong arms wrap around him and Lan Zhan's face rest on his neck even as his tears fell. He felt his eyes grow heavy to the beating of that heart and the stroking of the hand down his back. 'Okay.' He murmured as he fell asleep in his dream.

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This is only a short post this time as I really wanted Wei Ying to have his own dream. Though I am not totally happy with the way it turned out.

I really wanted to show how utterly lost Wei Ying felt, not sure of himself and the people around him even when most things had been dealt with.

How there are times we want nothing more than utter silence and piece but there is always that little voice that circles in our minds, and only with that are we dragged back into the world.

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