THE WORLD IS SHIT...so I'll be over here writing

Venting About Pointless Shit

It's the night before my bday and I feel horrible, sad and defeated, and angry because I feel that way. With these bad feeling it makes me think I'm wasting my life like I'm throwing away a year because at the end of it didn't really amount to anything. I was having the best year of my life before COVID-19, I was happy and had really good friends at a school I had always been bullied at, and now I have no friends and I lost my graduation, and all I do is cry and think of a past that could have been but will never be. I feel like this year was suppose to be magical and and my chance to leap out of my social anxiety, but instead this year has only made me sad and unable to converse with people and make new friends. I don't want this to be the end of this chapter because I know it could have been so much more than it was, I could have been so much more then I was. I'm falling behind in school, I can't talk to my parents about anything because I don't want to disappoint them, I have no friends, I don't like my body, and I'm failing at the things I'm suppose to be good. And no matter how much I tell my to get over it or stop complaining you ungrateful bloop, it still hurts. I'm writing this and feeling horrible about all my shit, I understand my worst day will never be as bad as someone else's worst day. I know my problems aren't that big, just "being a teenage" crap, and I understand it won't really matter in a couple of years (wasted years of my life). Everyone probably has there own version of my problems themselves, but I just want to vent, I couldn't just leave this year with baggage and shit sooo... PEACEEEEEE MOTHERFUCKERSSSSS!!!!!