s.c.s. ☆ j.jh ☆ ayakashi series | ✔

jaehyun [five]

You were practically busting down Na Jaemin's apartment door with how hard you were knocking, not caring if you bothered any of his neighbors. They were the last thing on your mind. The first—and only—thing on your mind right then was Jung Jaehyun.

As you pounded on the door once more, it was flung open, and you narrowly stopped your fist from impacting with Jaemin's face. He was wearing his pajamas, and something was paused on the TV. You'd clearly interrupted his show.

"Holy shit, Y/N, I thought you were the police or something," he shook his head, stepping back to allow you in. "What are you—"

"Fuck dude, I'm fucked," you blurted out.

"Why?" Jaemin followed you into his living room, where you immediately started pacing with worry.

"Jaehyun's hot."

"Have you been blind for your entire life and you were just magically cured? He's always been hot."

"I know."

"So why is it a problem now?"

"I don't know," you groaned out, about ready to start crying with how frustrated you were.

Your friend smiled knowingly, putting his hands on his hips as he announced, "Ah, I see, you've got SCS."

You stopped in your tracks to look at him incredulously, "What?"

"Sudden Crush Syndrome."

"What?"

"It's when you suddenly realize one day that someone's hot and you get a crush on them. Symptoms include nervousness, heart racing and/or fluttering, daydreaming, sweaty palms, knees weak, mom's spaghetti," he ticked off the supposed symptoms on his fingers. "Typically affects teenagers and romantically stunted adults."

"Hey!"

He snickered, "Sorry, Y/N, you're easy."

"Hey!" You scowled at him. "I have a feeling this isn't an actual diagnosis that you learn about as a Psych major."

"No." Jaemin plopped down on his couch to look up at you, "So what are you going to do about it?"

"Ignore it until it goes away," you immediately answered. It was the only option.

"And so you prove me right."

"What?"

"When I called you a romantically st—"

"Ugh!" You screeched out, cutting him off. "It's not like I haven't done anything ever, I've kissed someone, and I've lost my virginity!"

"I know. But you've only had one romantic relationship before in your life and it was in middle school," he reminded you of your past romantic failure.

"Don't make me think about him."

"You still can't even say his name!"

"Because it was over-all a terrible and cringey experience that I do not wish to relive."

"Jaehyun is neither terrible nor cringey," he pointed out.

"I'm aware," you retorted frankly. That was part of your problem.

"You're afraid to—"

"I'm not afraid to love, Jaemin. I wasn't wounded from that relationship; it was like seven weeks long and we didn't do more than hold hands. He moved away and that was that."

Jaemin waited for you to finish before returning to his point, "I was going to say that you're afraid to be in a relationship because you've never really had a long-term romantic relationship that went past holding hands and you're now an adult who is ashamed of how romantically inexperienced you are and going through all of that for the first time would almost feel burdensome at this point to you and it's easier for you in the short-term to avoid it."

His words hit you like a fucking lead train, knocking the wind from you, "Ouch, I think you hit way too close to home on that one."

"I'm your best friend, I practically have a PhD in Y/N's Love Life. Or, Y/N's Non-Existent Love Life."

"I'm going to punch you in the nose one of these days, Na Jaemin," you swore to him.

"You already have."

Flopping down on the couch beside him, you warned, "I'll do it again."

You friend turned to face you, "Anyway, I think you should shoot your shot."

"Cool, I don't."

"You two would be such a cute couple!"

"Oh my god don't give my brain any ideas," you groaned, but it was too late. Suddenly all you could imagine was holding Jaehyun's hand—his warm, big, soft hands—and sitting on your couch cuddling and watching movies and—UGH!

You had to stop.

"I'll be your dude of honor at the Y/L/N-Jung wedding, right?"

Letting out a screech, you kicked him in the shin, hard.

"Ouch! Fuck, you get violent when confronted with your own romantic feelings. Noted."

"I'm not one of your children that you psychoanalyze, Na Jaemin," you reminded him fiercely. "I'm your friend."

"My best friend," he corrected you, gently resting a hand on your forearm. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I just want what's best for you, you know?"

"And you really think Jae is what's best for me?"

"I do."

☆

The next day was a Tuesday, and you could breathe again. No World Literature, no Jaehyun, no SCS. Just school. Nice, boring, plain old school. You were even excited for Calculus somehow. And you thought you were safe, that things were returning to normal, until your phone buzzed as you left the dining hall for your Abnormal Psychology class. As per usual, you checked your notifications, and your throat seized up.

[jaehyun: i've been thinking that maybe part of the reason you couldn't focus at the study session was because there were other students? and i'm sorry for putting you on the spot last night, so would you be able to study tonight? just you and me, less pressure]

"'Less pressure,' my ass," you mumbled sarcastically to yourself.

But your friend was offering to do something nice for you, to help you, and you really did need the help. The analysis questions were due tomorrow and you still had absolutely no clue what the poems were saying. Not even online analyses could unblock your mind on these, you'd tried.

[you: yeah, what time?]

[jaehyun: my shift ends at six today, i can bring dinner]

[you: sounds good, thanks]

☆