A Dozen Fallen Roses // Cedric Diggory

chapter seven. the boy who loved.

flashback. march of last year.

I step out of the shower, squeezing the last bit of excess water out of my hair and wrapping it in a towel. I admire my figure in the mirror and trace my fingers up my hips, up each of my arms, and around my face, accentuating each of my features. I make a face at myself in the mirror, keeping from taking myself too seriously. Wrapping myself in a second towel, I push open the door to my room to see Harry sitting on my bed reading one of my books.

"What the hell are you doing in here, I'm naked!" I say, pretending to feel exposed. He shields his eyes jokingly.

"Oh, my bad," he responds, a bit embarrassed and he shields his eyes. I toss the pair of socks that I just removed from my trunk at him, but he dodges them easily. I grab a large Gryffindor t-shirt that I definitely stole from him and a pair of shorts and step back into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

"What are you even doing in here, I thought everyone was in Hogsmeade?" I ask, getting dressed.

"My aunt and uncle didn't sign the paper," he responds and I can hear he's a bit upset by the timber in his voice.

"Well now you get to hang out with me!" I say, sticking my head out of the door despite only being half dressed. I shut the door again, pull my shirt on, and take the towel off my hair to let it air dry.

"Where's the fun in that?" he yells to me. I emerge from the bathroom with a silver water bottle.

"Oh, just a little drink I got from the twins," I say standing in the doorway, waving around the bottle.

"I'm assuming that's not pumpkin juice," he responds, sitting up in my bed and setting the book aside. I run over and jump on the bed. I open the bottle and take a swig. My whole mouth sours at the bleach-like taste. Not that I have any idea what bleach tastes like, but this is what I imagine. I choke a bit, passing the bottle over to Harry, who looks at it nervously.

"Have you never-" I ask, trying to hide the shock on my face. He shakes his head sheepishly. Nevertheless, he grabs the bottle confidently and takes a large sip. Looking as if he's going to spit it out, I duck out of the way, but he manages to swallow it in a mix of coughs and gags.

"How do you feel?" I ask. He takes a moment to respond, processing everything.

"I feel quite brilliant, actually. Tastes a bit weird, but I can see why people are so drawn to it," he spits out.

"Um.. okay? Never seen someone so passionate about vodka, but I like the honesty," I respond, taking another swig. We continue to pass the bottle back and forth but after about 4 swigs, I keep the bottle from him, afraid of what I might have to deal with, him being a first time drinker and all. I don't know if it's the vodka or how much we just seem to trust each other, but the truth seems to be spewing out of us. About everything.

"I've literally never talked to anyone about this and I don't know why, but I feel like I have to tell you. I'm so tired of being the center of attention. I know everyone thinks it's so great that I'm this 'Boy who lived' but I'd really rather be just 'Boy who is superbly average that nobody really pays any mind to,' you know?" he says, truly confiding in me.

"No, I don't," I laugh. "But, I can understand what you're saying. Pretty sure I don't treat you that special," I say, taking another swig.

"I wish you would," he blurts out. A look of surprised washes over his face and he pushes his lips together, as if he didn't mean to say it.

"What?" I ask, sitting up a little.

"Ava, you know I have feelings for you. I want everything to do with you all the time. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met and I can't imagine my life without you," his look of surprise grows the more he speaks as if he wishes the words coming out of his mouth would stop, but he can't control it.

"Oh. Harry, you know you're one of my favorite people and one of my best friends, but I'm sorry, I don't feel the same," I respond, completely unintentionally. I clap my hand over my mouth to keep from saying any more as I see his surprise turn to utter embarrassment and humiliation.

"Please, don't tell anyone," he begs, a hint of a tear forming in his eye. I nod and before I can tell him to stop, he's out the door. I see the twins on either side of my doorway, turned to watch Harry go back to his room, laughing their asses off. I should be drunk, but I'm feeling absolutely normal.

"What the HELL did you two do?" I scold at them, crawling off my bed, crossing to them, and pulling them both into my room by their ears. They try to pry my hand off, but I only squeeze tighter. I throw them both down onto my bed and they chuckle among one another, proud of their so-called 'work.'

"Turns out Potter's got a bit of a crush, huh?" Fred laughs, elbowing George.

"You two just absolutely humiliated him! And me! What did you do to us?" I say, in pure and utter rage.

"Just a little veritaserum, of course," George responds, as if it were obvious. They must have made it taste like vodka, but it was really just the potion.

"You absolute idiots," I say, whacking them both, "I will never forgive you for this. Now get the fuck out of my room!" The two of them, still proud, strut out of my room and I shut the door. Sitting down on my bed, I start to cry, realizing that Harry and I will probably never be the same. How could I be so completely stupid and oblivious? I curl up on my bed and cry myself to sleep.

-

The next day, I successfully avoid everyone. I head straight to the kitchens to grab breakfast and I sit in the back corner of all of my classes. Hermione and Ginny approached me at lunch to ask what was the matter, but I politely asked them for some space. I just didn't know what to say to anyone and needed some time to myself.

I wandered the halls for most of the afternoon because I had no classes. When I found myself back to the Gryffindor common room, I decided it was time to be social again and put last night's events behind me.

"Fortuna Major," I recite to the fat lady, and she swings open. Fred and George are on the couch with Ron in the large chair beside them. I cross and make myself some space between the twins.

"Thought you said you'd never forgive us," Fred says.

"I haven't," I reply, matter of factly.

"Everything work out with Potter?" George asks.

"What do you mean? What happened with Harry?" Ron asks, inserting himself in the conversation.

"Nothi-" I try to say, attempting to keep my promise to Harry, but am interrupted.

"Turns out Potter has the hots for Rootes over here," Fred chimes in, shoving me. I shove him back, harder.

"Shut up," I whisper to him.

"No way, how did I not know this?" Ron asks, a bit offended. "So Ava, what'd you say? Do you feel the same?" I look up to see Harry standing on the staircase to the boys' dormitories. He looks at me, as if asking 'Really? You promised.' and then turns and heads back up the stairs.

"Look what you've done," I scold the three of them, then stand and chase him up the stairs. He pushes his door closed behind him, but I catch my hand in the doorway, stopping it, and enter his room, clearly against his wishes. I shut the door behind me. Harry's sitting on the foot of his bed, his head in his hands.

"Harry, you don't understand, I didn't say anything, it was all the twins, I tried to stop it," I say kneeling beside him, trying to explain myself. He lifts his head out of his hands and I realize how angry he is, rather than upset or humiliated. He stands, crossing to the other side of the room, turns back to me, and simply says,

"Get out, Ava," I stand and start to cross to him.

"Harry, please, I need you," I say, but he stops me with his harsh words.

"And I needed you, but I guess we don't always get the things we want, so please, just leave," and so I left, knowing I wouldn't ever get my best friend back. Knowing that I had hurt him more than I would ever understand.