I Choose You

Distraction

It was a long day for Clarke Griffin. Med bay was nearly empty, only two people had come in all day. Abby was hardly around at all, too busy keeping herself occupied with council matters. And Clarke, well, with nothing to do her mind would swirl with the memories of her father, of the reason he was floated at all. The Ark was dying- the oxygen was failing- and no one was doing anything about it. Jake Griffin was floated to protect this secret, her father killed, and here she was- sitting- doing nothing about it. He died so she could live, and what could she do about it? Nothing.

Jackson knew there was no reason for Clarke to stay if there was nothing to do for the rest of the day, so he sent her home. Normally the young Griffin would fight and refuse; but not today. Clarke goes home and lies in her bed. Hoping for her thoughts to cease.

Mean while, Bellamy has finished his shift for the day and makes his way to Med bay, only to find one person instead of two. "Jackson? Where's Clarke?"

Jackson's head pops up from his desk as he sees the young cadet. With a weary smile he answers, telling the young man Clarke went home for the rest of the day. With a gracious nod, Bellamy heads in the direction of the Griffin's quarters, knowing full well Clarke was shutting down. She was grieving and exhausted, and keeping up a strong face could only last so long.

When Bellamy arrives he doesn't bother knocking on the door, instead he lets himself in and strides towards Clarke's room. There he finds her curled up on her side in bed, her face hidden by her hair and arms.

"Princess..." He mutters before stepping forward and crawling in behind her. Rather than jumping in fear and looking up, Clarke curls further in herself and more behind into Bellamy. He lays behind her, laying arm across her waist. When she wiggles further in his embrace he places a soft kiss on her shoulder, holding her tighter in his arms.

"Hey." He whispers and she laces her hand in his, the silence surrounding them. Bellamy tries to spring up a conversation, but the most he gets from her is a grunt of a sigh. Gently he places a kiss behind her ear, tugging her closer.

"I just... I want to feel something else. Anything else. I don't want to think. Just feel something."

Bellamy nods in understanding, knowing she wants a distraction from her thoughts. to watch her father, one of the most important people in her life float away in a vacuum of space...well, it would haunt anyone. Clarke may be strong, but everyone breaks sometimes. And this was her first crack. Bellamy holds her against his chest when she turns around, her golden locks splayed everywhere. She cries into his chest for several minutes, allowing herself this vulnerability. When she stops she surprises him by turning over in his arms and kissing him breathless. When it gets heated he pulls away.

"Princess-"

"Bellamy... Please." She begs, her eyes glassing over.

"You're not in the right mind for this, Clarke. I don't want to-"

"You are not taking advantage of me. Don't you dare say it." He sighs then, tugging her against him back in a cuddle. 

"When you've grieved then we can... " Abruptly Clarke pulls back, shaking her head as she looks up.

"Bell." She pleads and moves to face him again. "Please."

Bellamy looks away and runs a hand in his curls. Clarke watches and leans to kiss his cheek, then brushes lips over his neck, making him shiver. "Clarke..." He groans, and before she knows it he turns them over. He pins her down and she gasps. "This isn't going to help, Princess." 

"I don't care." She states before reaching up and crushing his lips against hers, bucking against him. He groans and is taken back, and Clarke takes advantage. She nudges him and he lets her take the lead. She straddles his waist and reaches for his shirt, and Bellamy grabs her hand.

"Princess..." His tone rough and hard. He wants to fight this, but he knows she won't give up. The look in her eye is nothing but determined. She needs this- she needs him.

"I'm sure." And that's all the notice he gets before she pulls his shirt, and her own, and kissing him again. Hard. And full of purpose.

~~~

Clarke snores in her sleep, that much Bellamy has learned. Sometimes before she's truly fallen. In moments like this he wishes he could pause time and make it last forever, but he knew he couldn't, so instead he enjoys the now. Holding Clarke's body right next to his as her head rests on his chest, right above his heart, her leg thrown over his waist to stay close. She loves cuddles, even if no one else knows it. She's strong, passionate, soft, and kind; and yet a part of her is now lost. But Bellamy will always help her find her way.

"I love you." She mumbles sleepily as she places a sloppy light kiss on his collar bone. Bellamy beams at her slurred words and kisses the top of her head. 

"I love you too. More than you know." Soon after speaking, he feels her relax and fall asleep.