New To Me, New To You // S.R. ✓

𝟎𝟎𝟖

You woke up in a room- a room that seemed oddly familiar. The room painted gray with tons of nirvana posters taped to the walls. The bed you woke up in was white, your head laying on a white pillow as well. You sat up, rubbing your eyes so you could try to figure out where you were.

"You can't be! You haven't even had a real boyfriend Y/N!" Your mom yelled, her voice echoing through the house you woke up in. You jumped off the bed and tiptoed through the hallway, careful not to make any noise.

"Mom but I like boys and girls. I don't need to have a real boyfriend to know what I like." The voice spoke, your voice spoke. You finally processed what was going on. It was the day you came out to your mom. September 7th 2010.Your third week of sophomore year.

You peeked around the corner of the hallway, seeing the commotion occurring in the middle of the kitchen. "I knew those friends of yours were going to put things into your head. Don't tell anyone or else they'll make fun of you." She reprimanded, rubbing her hand on her forehead in disappointment.

"Why can't you just love me mom?" your younger self cried. You began to tremble, the same emotions and feelings you had that day were coursing through your body, "I'm still me. I'm still Y/N."

"Go to your room." She spoke softly, her tone stern and defiant. Your younger self wouldn't move, she was hoping your mom would regret her words and apologize, but she wasn't budging. "GO! Go do your homework or something."

Tears fell down your face, your body trembling as you saw yourself running past you to your old room. It was terrifying. It always would be.

"Y/N."

"Y/N." He repeated, shaking you lightly. "You're shaking." He continued, bringing his hand up to your cheek and rubbing circles on it with his thumb.

You opened your eyes, the warm salty tears against your lip bringing you into consciousness. 

You grabbed his hand, the warmth of his body comforting you. You wanted to feel someone who was real.

You sat up and pulled Spencer into a hug, crying into his shoulder. You tried to push away those feelings of abandonment. The memory that your mother liked you a whole lot less after you believed she would love you as is. No matter how much time had passed, you always felt the urge to cry when that memory made its way into the front of your brain.

"Shh, what's wrong?" He whispered, brushing your hair with his fingers as his other hand rubbed your back. You gulped down the cries, breathing in and out to control yourself.

"My mom. The day I came out to her." You managed to speak out, your shaking body tensing down in Spencer's arms.

"I'm sorry."

He didn't know how to respond. He was straight- from what you knew- and most straight males, no matter how much of an ally they are, don't know how to react in these kinds of situations.

He moved you away from the hug, placing you in front of him. He moved his hands up to your shoulders, gripping them softly, "You are amazing as is. You being you isn't going to drive me away okay? I'm not going anywhere." He wiped away a tear that fell down your cheek, bringing his lips up to your forehead and planting a kiss on it.

Most people you talked to never had an issue with your sexuality, it was only the older adults you had an issue with. Your father understood and he was quite supportive as well- taking you to your first pride parade and buying you bisexual flag pins and introducing you to other girls and guys who had the same interests as you- he tried, unlike your mom. She was misunderstanding at first but began to live with it. She would get annoyed every June due to your dad placing pride flags all over the house, but she wouldn't do anything about it.