Living and loving with darkness

A pull to darkness

Now it's been awhile but back to my story line....

So recently I have had a feeling something I can't really explain, like a pull to darkness. I remember looking out my window one morning thinking maybe, just maybe, winning, but with the death eaters, would be good? Maybe then I could get anything I wanted, I could get rid of all the people I hated, but how many people had to die for me to get that? I'm a Slytherin I'm expected to be bad, and get what I want with any means necessary, but I'm not sure, I'm really not sure.

"Rosie? What are you doing here?" I asked her as she walked into my room.
"How are you doing? You seem different, nervous?"
"Well I'm 15 and all this shit is going on! And....no it's fine" I rolled my head over to the side.
"What, come on you can trust me" Rosie said.
"Fine, I have been thinking that maybe, this darkness, this death eater thing isn't bad, maybe it could get me what I want." She looked at me in the eyes.
"How could you think that? They are killing people so many people, is that what you want? And truthfully I understand what your feeling you don't deserve this, none of us do but either way this is happening so you have a choice that I cannot make for you, all I can do is hope you chose the right one." She had her hand around me but she took it off and left. She was right, I had a choice but yet one to chose. But this is the easiest way to describe it...

Good choice:
I help with Harry, Ron and Hermione, I help everyone stop Voldemort and we succeed. But then I thought what if my father was put back in Askaban, what if Draco was, he was nearly old enough to, so. I could risk it but I didn't want to, I can't lose my father again, I know I know but he is my father and you should see what it did to him, and losing Draco I don't even want to think of what it would do to me or  Rosie. So that's the good choice, do the right thing.

Bad choice:
Join him, embrace the darkness, kill and get what I want. Power, money, people to fear me, who needs people to love them when fear is stronger. I have known what I wanted since I was 8 to get rid of all mudbloods in the minestry, I could do that. I would have everything I wanted and no one would question me. But I would never have my family back because I have a feeling if Voldemort knew I cared about my real family more than him he would kill them. Draco, My father and my mother, all of them gone, now that is the worst thing I could imagine.

So what do I do? I am torn in half like paper. But for now I'm going to just stay alive, keep myself alive is all I can do, but once I learned what a horcrux was I knew I had to choose.