Eternal Love: Beynika Oneshots

Lose You III

Just don't have too much fun without me
Don't have too much, don't have too much fun
Please don't forget about me
Try not to love no one
_______

Monday morning came without incident. Over the weekend, Jewels managed to get me all the way together with an unexpected visit and wine to cheer me up. I was able to get everything off my chest and get unbiased, blatant feedback. Jewels had no sides. There was only right, wrong, and risks in her head. She only wanted what was best for me, my heart, and my soul. By the end of our conversation, she'd convinced me that I eventually needed to talk to Beyoncé - at least for my closure. She felt as though her reasons may lead to an understanding that made everything a he'd done finally make sense and we could move on as separate entities or try to become one, again.

However, I wasn't expecting that talk to come as soon as the starting point of my week. I wasn't ready, so Beyoncé's presence outside of my home when I walked out was alarming. In her arms was the largest bear I'd ever seen in person. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that around its neck was a necklace and large envelope that dangled from it.

"What are you doing here, Beyoncé?"

"I come in peace, Juice."

She'd come in peace but immediately raged war the second she allowed my pet name slip from her lips. Her bottom lip sunk into her mouth slightly as she gnawed on it. This was a habit she'd developed whenever I chastised her. She wasn't used to it. Not taking demands or being set straight. She was a boss. Always had been. She didn't take shit or orders from anyone... but me. It was agonizing on her end, and to relieve herself of the agony, she chewed on her bottom lip.

"You're bleeding," I nodded toward her leaking mouth. She'd broken the skin, gnawing until she drew blood.

With her free hand, she wiped the blood from her mouth and continued, "You said I never wrote you, but I did. I wrote to you all the time. Even after the fifty-two letters that you sent. I just couldn't muster the strength to send them. I lost my vigilance under your spell. Still do. I feel like a weak ass bitch out here right now, but I'll be that for you. I saved them all. Your letters and mine. I had to keep my head high in there. Cutting ties with you was the only way to do that. Having you do that time with me would've killed me."

"Not having the choice to do so killed me," I confessed.

"I know and I'm sorry baby."

"I really need to go," stating the obvious, I grabbed the bear from her arms and treaded toward the driver side of my car. Before getting in, I stuffed the bear into the passenger seat. Once I'd secured the lock on my door to be sure that Beyoncé didn't pull it open, I released a labored breath of air. This was too much. She was too much. The emotional toll her presence was taking on me was paramount in comparison to her absence.

Exasperated, at only nine in the morning, I gazed lazily at the oversized bear in my passenger seat. The large, rope chain around its neck punctured the thick envelope with the words Eight Years, Eight Letters. My mobility was limited, only surfacing for me to palm my face and squeal into my open hands. As good as this was supposed to feel, it felt just as bad and I was wondering how much more of it I could actually handle.

Hard knuckles against the glass dragged me from the emotional turmoil I was drowning in. After clearing my line of sight, I instantly recognized my cause and my cure. Beyoncé crouched down slightly, trying her hardest to penetrate the tinted windows of my BMW.