Guide Me (Halren) **DISCONTINUED**

20

Lauren's POV

"Lauren, we need to talk." Lucy says to me, timidly walking into the room. She's always been on the shy side, but I can't help to think that she's scared of me sometimes.

"Okay." I move over on the couch to give her space to sit down. I don't like the fact she thinks we need to talk, that must mean I did something wrong. I'm not liking this, but I don't jump to conclusions too quickly.

"Laur, I think um... sometimes you don't seem to notice what you say to me." She tells me. I furrow my eyebrows, not able to pinpoint what she means at first.

"Like what?" I ask.

She plays with her hands in her lap, breaking eye contact with me. I would be lying if I said I wasn't growing a slight but concerned.

"Lucy, tell me. I'm not hurting you, am I?" I encourage her to say something. Finally, she does.

"Sometimes you can." She quietly says, adding on with more force, "Actually, sometimes you try to mold me into someone I'm not."

I remember vividly how I had reacted to being accused of such. I was immature back then and from what I've been doing to Ashley, maybe I haven't grown up the way I've wanted to. I've always been one to do things on my own, but I can't help Ashley on my own. She needs to be okay with what I want for her. This is a team effort. I hate that I've basically forced her to go to a therapy appointment. She could have said no to the therapist, but with the situation I put her in, I knew she wouldn't. Gosh, that sounds so damn manipulative.

I'm currently waiting in the waiting room of this therapist's office. I have my own anxiety surrounding me. I wonder if this will put a strain on our relationship? What if she comes out of there even more angry with me? I only wanted the best for her, but now I'm not so sure what the best is.

When Ashley returns, she seems relatively normal. She only glances at me before I see her therapist poke her head around the doorway.

"Ms. Jauregui?" She begins, filling me with confusion.

Oh no... she knows how stupid I've been acting and she's going to chew me out for it, isn't she?

Stop acting so paranoid, Lauren!

"Yes?" I answer, my mouth going dry all of a sudden.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" She asks politely. I nod, turning to Ashley quickly and patting her arm. Our eyes meet for a second before I leave behind the woman.

This woman seems to be a nice person. She's sophisticated and neat with her appearance, but the way she speaks is so soft and understanding. Funny enough, I feel more relaxed as I sit in her office with her.

"So, Lauren... now usually I wouldn't share any of this information with anyone other than Ashley herself because it's confidential to us, but she's given me full permission to tell you about what we've talked about this session." She starts, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs. "For the first appointment, I wouldn't expect Ashley to share as much as she did, but since she did, we both want to make sure you have the tools to help her through this rough situation she's dealing with."

"Okay... that's good that she opened up." I say.

The woman smiles, "It is."

She pulls out a notepad and glances at it before making eye contact again, "We discussed how she's been feeling about her body image lately and how she's been treating herself both physically and mentally. She says that your support has really helped her and because of that, she is determined to get back to a healthy weight and mindset."

I can't help but smile, knowing that she knows she can confide in me.

"With you being such an influence in her life, I'd like to also check up with you and give you tools and resources that can help her. Now she will know about all of this first hand so that it doesn't feel like we're doing anything without her permission. We need to make this experience the most positive that we can."

I nod, "Okay. Anything I can do to help her."

The therapist smiles back and offers her first tip, "This week I want you to listen mainly. I'm sure you do a great job of this seeing how you two seem to have a great bond, but double check. Make sure you're listening to the best of your ability.

"Also, don't try to fix the problem before anything else. Just comfort her, help her understand it's okay that she's feeling what she's feeling before trying to conquer the problem at hand."

She gives me a note with these tips on it. I thank her, holding onto it and silently telling myself I'm going to do what it takes to be the best version of myself for Ashley.

. . . . . .

I'm sitting on a stool at the island in Camila's kitchen with my head in my hands. I can feel the tears slowly trailing down my face, but I don't make a sound.

"Lauren, I know you regret it, but I can't believe you hit her! What were you thinking?" Camila asks me, pacing in front of me. Lucy used to be a friend of Camila's as well, so we knew that she'd be telling her every detail at some point. That was one of reasons that push me to confide in Camila instead of hold it in.

Oh what am I saying? There's no way I could've held that in.

"Lauren?" She tries again for me to answer.

"I don't know. I don't know why I did it." I mumble quietly, careful to make my voice sound as normal as possible. I feel guilty for crying over this when it was my own doing.

"Come on, there's a reason you did. There has to be!" She's really starting to chew me out about this. I don't blame her.

"I was mad, okay?!" I snap, lifting my head to reveal even more tears. "It felt like my mind was clouded and I couldn't see straight! It was such a terrible feeling..." I cry, my chest being squeezed too tight by too many emotions to name.

. . . . . .

"I'm sorry for forcing you to see someone. I'm sorry I didn't talk it over with you earlier." I apologize as Ashley and I lay in bed that night. When I say this, I feel her move closer to me.

"Thank you. I actually had a lot come out of that appointment today." She says.

I smile and hold her tighter against me. I ask her, "Like what?"

"Well, we talked about how I view my body and how it's hard for me to eat no matter what. She gave me some tips for things to work on." She tells me, lightly drawing shapes on my collarbone with the edge of her nail. She continues, speaking softly in the moonlight, "She told me to limit my time on social media and try to spend more time with you. She also told me to set small goals for myself to eat something every morning or find a food that feels safer for me and work my way up with that food."

I pet her hair, a smile still on my face. We lock eyes and I kiss her on the forehead sweetly. "I'm so proud of you."

I can see the small blush on her cheeks and it makes me grin with admiration. I'm really lucky with this girl.

"I love you." She whispers into the peaceful night.

"I love you too, babe."