Peter Parker Imagines

Eleven Minutes..[Female!Reader]

A/N: This is months or so old, was on my tungle and I never posted it here lol. I'm sure I have more unposted crap but yeah. Here's this. I don't write as much as I used to.

❝I'ᴍ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs ᴀᴡᴀʏ, ᴀɴᴅ I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴅᴀʏ..❞

You assumed you shouldn't be doing this, what with your state of emotions but.. if you didn't, you weren't sure if these emotions would ever settle. You had to have closure, even if the outcome wasn't what you expected or wanted. Hell, you were barely sure what you even wanted out of this. What was the point? What was there to even gain anymore? Why were you lying to yourself when you knew you still wanted this?

There was so much you'd put up with on your end- and sure, maybe you had no right to complain. You knew what you were getting into those few years ago. You knew who he was and how he was, but still. You hoped you'd get him to see reason. You knew you would-

A teenager shouldn't have to go through all that. Not even an adult should, but of course, perhaps an adult could better process it. An adult wouldn't struggle so hard, and that's only because their brains aren't still working to fully develop themselves and the body they inhabit. Struggling with something so hard so young.. it does things to you and those around you. It does things to your relationships.

Funnily enough, the same could be said of a teen simply having a romantic relationship at all. Yet, the latter doesn't have you bearing the weight of the world upon your still growing shoulders.

You struggled to hold that weight with him. Nights filled with the metallic scent and taste of blood were the norm. Those nights always felt panicky or hurt- those nights always caused arguments and overpowering feelings of helplessness. You weren't built to be a damsel in distress, but you knew your limits. He surpassed them, but even he had his own, and as much as you wished they were endless, they weren't. That night when he didn't come home- that day when all the world saw was ash.. that was almost the final straw. How crazy is it that it wasn't?

That months of mourning and horrific questions and theories, wasn't entirely the cause of this? Months of staring out your window and just hoping he was lost and not.. gone. So much time spent feeling like you could have prevented it somehow- and feeling like you didn't savor enough of the good moments. The hand holding, the sweet kisses and sweet murmurs of affection under stars- none of it felt like enough. Not enough to sate you or make you feel like yourself..

❝I'ᴍ sᴏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ sᴏʀʀʏ, I'ᴍ sᴏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ sᴏʀʀʏ..❞

Seeing his face again was almost like having whiplash- only ten times worse.

You'd only dreamt of seeing him again, of getting to touch him and feel his hands holding you close. Only in your dreams did you get to feel like.. he had never left. You wanted to punch him, but you also wanted to hug him. All you could settle for was breaking down. Your knees gave out from under you, and he caught your crumpling form, allowing you to thrash at him because he was sure he deserved it. You both knew he didn't, but feelings never really align with logic. Feelings do as they pleased, especially when they decided to consume you.

You cried until you couldn't- until your throat was scratchy and your body felt weak.

"I'm sorry..", he tells you, and you just shake your head.

"I am too."

He doesn't know, and maybe he never will, but the sorry wasn't for hitting him. It wasn't for him having to see you like this. It was because he was one of many, that had to watch themselves go- only his was worse. You were sure his senses screamed at him, that his powers tried to alert him and or stop it all, but they failed. He had to feel himself wither away, and you could only imagine what that might feel like for a Junior in High School. For a growing young man.