Peter Parker Imagines

Flower Girl [Female!Reader] Possible Trigger Warning You.. PT2

Dark brown hair, dark brown eyes. Both matching- yet you swore you saw more colors in his eyes- kind of. The colors you saw were very dull, but they were there. Something stripped him of all his colors, and you hoped to be able to put them back for him. Even if it meant dulling some of your own.

You kind of wished you hadn't been so hopeful or so wanting. You gave him some of your colors without him knowing. He ate them up, yes, but they didn't change him. He just wanted your flowers and something to numb everything inside of him.

You only gave him flowers.

You were his flower girl. You provided him with some very special flowers. A favorite to someone he knew-someone he mourned. Sometimes he remembered you, and sometimes he didn't. It was the times that he remembered you that you lived for. It was like some twisted high for you. You hated it, but you loved it as well. You got a look at who he was before. What kind of man he was before the world destroyed him from the inside out.

One day, he remembered you. He carried out a conversation with you, somewhat.

"I just really love these flowers.", he says, giving you a half warm smile.

"They're really pretty, so I can see why."

A different smile takes over his face, it's big and genuine and your heart jumps upon seeing it, "Heh, you're really pretty too-", he cuts himself off, looking visibly shaken.

You're flattered and for a moment, unaware of why he looks that way. You think it's embarrassment, innocent embarrassment, so you say, "Hey, it's okay-"

He shakes his head, "No. N-No it's not I- you look like her and- and these are hers- hers. I can't. I'm so sorry- I have to go."

Then he's off, leaving you confused and flustered. What do you make of that? Who is she and what had she done to him?

That should've been your first sign. The first big red flag. He loved another girl- his heart belonged to someone else, so therefore it'd be wrong and useless to give him yours. Giving him yours might fill the gaping hole in his chest, but it wouldn't stop the bleeding. It would only leave you empty and cold, and it would make him feel more guilty.

Your flower boy knew he couldn't love you, not the way you wanted and deserved. You deserved someone fresh- a clean slate. Someone who could move forward from their past, and not cling to it like he did. He clung until his hands bled, and even then he refused to let go. His past was his lifeline, it was all he knew. She was all he knew. He couldn't remember who he was before her, and he didn't know who he could be without her. When he had thought of the future, he had thought of her- but she's gone now, so what was his future?

You didn't deserve the baggage he had- the scars he hid. He didn't want you to pour yourself into his empty shell and lose all of what you were. You looked too much like her and he had to constantly remember that you weren't her. It wasn't healthy, but god- you looked at him in such a way..

He had to try, just for your sake. Maybe you'd see just how messed up he'd become and you'd leave. Maybe-

He let himself talk to you and befriend you. You grew to know him, taking it all slow. You learned of his bad habit of mixing his meds with alcohol and how he tended to forget for awhile. You did your best to help him out of it- did all you could to learn him and try to ground him, but he was like sand. You could grab fistfuls and hold onto them, but at some point, only mere tiny grains would stay stuck to your palms. Useless and uncomfortable.

Still, you were hopeful, and so you held onto those tiny grains. You clutched them tight and one day, you swore it paid off.

He kissed you.