" I couldn't express my feelings because I was too young
I wanted to be your tomorrow so I lived today
Ever since the first day I saw you until now In my heart, it's only you 。" 🎀🍡
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Y/N's first day o...
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you and eunwoo walked on the side walk while you were holding your bike on the busy streets where there were students waiting for the bus, men wearing formal Work suits going for lunch. Kindergarteners in a line waiting for a specific bus for them. eunwoo lives the opposite way of you so you had to bid your goodbyes.
- " Goodbye Y/N-ah ! see you tomorrow! " she hugged you as she bid her goodbye. you hugged her while caressing her back as you also bid your goodbye. you waved at her before facing your way. you started walking towards the street with your bike while you played with the ends of your hoodie. you readied your bike and rode it back home.
Jihoon's P.O.V
I was walking back home when i realized that Y/N and Eunwoo were infront of me, no wonder they were babbling so loudly. eunwoo then hugged Y/N and crossed the street opposite Y/N. she looks so fragile. i would help her hold her bike but i won't. she then checked if the wheels are working well and put her bag in the basket of her bike. her life seems so simple. she then rode her bike onto the streets. her healthy looking hair finally revealing her small face as she slightly smiled. she's beautiful. i didn't even realize i was staring at her until she disappeared into the distance.
once i arrived home i deeply sighed. time to face the sentry again. i have no idea why he's here anyways. my parents are basically always overseas. once they finish they leave the following week. do i even have parents? ever since i was a child, i've never had any happy memories with my Family. all i have is a mother and father that i see atleast 1 week maximum. i never felt love. i don't know what it feels like. them always being absent made me develop my main personality trait; Alexithymia. i feel numb most of the time. i can't feel love, i can't feel pain. i'm just there.
- " Jihoon, you're back- " i stopped him mid sentence.
- " Why do you care? " i said as i made my way up to my room. i laid down on my bed as i exhaled throughly. i hear my phone buzz multiple times, i already know it's my friends group chat so i ignored it and sailed deep into my thoughts. i'm sick of always feeling like this. i'm sick of hurting other people's feelings without doing anything to it. i looked at my journal on my desk and went to look through it. i write my wishes on there but none of them came true. no matter how much i hope for it to happen. it doesn't. oh how many times i've wished for my parents to comeback, they didn't. a few weeks ago i've decided to give up on wanting my parents. i wished for a miracle to help me with my trait. a miracle that will make me feel love. a miracle that will make me truly happy. but it all seems too good to be true. so i just look at the page pathetically. i want to rip it off so bad but there's a faint voice telling me not to. i threw the journal back on the desk and went back to my bed. facing my blank ceiling. suddenly, Y/N's smile appears. the way she smiles, the way she giggles. i try to shake those thoughts away, but then won't go away. instead they increase. the way she was startled by the way i held her by the lockers. the way her eyes were glossy, everything. i eventually gave up and closed my eyes, as i fell into an unexpected nap out of exhaustion.
