Dolls

i want you to lie

Chapter 30 Part I: Elane

I look up from the sink when Cormen comes home from work.

"Hi," I say, wiping my hands and smiling. He does not smile back. "Dinner is over there. It should still be warm."

He looks hurt and confused. I step close to him.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Coria, she... had a miscarriage," He replies. My heart sinks. I know how painful it is. "She is in the hospital recovering, but when she gets out, we will go see her."

"Was it bad?" I ask.

"Apparently so, I guess what Luther's guards saw was not pretty," He says. "They said she is doing well, though. She is just... heartbroken."

"I understand," I answer. "And it was her and Luther's second child, right? He has to be upset as well?"

"It is hard to tell with him," Cormen says. He sits at the kitchen counter. "I wonder how he reacted."

"We will have to ask, if she is ok with it," I say. "Will your parents come?"

"No. Father did not want to, but I am sure Mama wants to," He responds. Ruthia is most likely praying to be able to see Coria. "Ugh, I can only imagine..."

We hug, his arms wrapping around me tight. I am reminded of my struggle to conceive. We have been trying ever since we found out, but with my meds, it is getting harder and harder. I know how much Cormen wants to be a father.

"Are you going to tell her?" He asks softly. I pause, but I already know the answer.

"Yes," I reply, though I know it will cause her more heartbreak.

———
Chapter 30 Part II: Coria

I cry for the fourth time today. I am no longer in physical pain, but the emotional pain is still too much to bear. I now hide in the closet to cry, just so no one hears me. Thunder always finds me, licking at my face until I get up.

Sybella has not seen her mother in four days. I entrust her to Josie. Jenna might take her once in a while, but I do not know. I just know that she is not in my arms. The depression of losing a child hurts to the point of not being able to hold my alive one. Every time I gaze into her eyes, I see a distorted body on a towel.

Thunder finds me again, whimpering at me, his head on my knees. He keeps whining until I get up, going to the mirror to fix my makeup. I am not allowed to cry as long as I want to. Cormen and Elane are coming over.

They picked the perfect day, as Luther is gone and will not be coming back until tomorrow. I still think of when he said those heartbreaking words to me. He has not said them since.

Even though he is gone, I still dress as if he were here, if only to convince myself that I am fine. And I am not.

Thunder pads after me to the living room, where I wait for my brother and his wife. I stare into the abyss as I pet the dog. He cuddles up to my side, feeling my pain. He has been so much more comforting than my husband.

The doorbell rings, and I get up to answer it. Once the servants see me on my way, they stand to the side, then walk away. I open it, the friendly faces of my family smiling back at me. I muster up the best one I can.

Cormen hugs me first, murmur of comfort reaching my ears. I thank him, then hug Elane. She has not changed since I last saw her. She has the look of knowing in her eyes, as well as something else. It looks oddly familiar, as if I have seen it in her gaze before, but I ignore it for now.