That Night.

Chapter Five

I start stirring in Standard Ingredient to the potion. "Then what?" I ask Draco. "Keep stirring for five minutes, and then we take it off the fire to let it cool for ten."

I keep stirring, he continues to chop up something. I don't even know. I'm just doing what he tells me.

In a week he went from Malfoy to Draco, considering almost none of the Gryffindors are talking to me. Maybe it's because I'm living with Severus. Maybe it's because I defended the Slytherins.

Or maybe it's that stupid article that came out last week.

The article showing a few pictures. With quotes. An interview from him. And Dumbledore. And a fake one from me.

Earlier I didn't want to die, but now? Now I'm not so sure. And it's terrifying. 

Draco takes it off and has me start cutting something into chunks. I hiss when I hand slips and the knife slices open my palm. "Shit!"

"Here, hold still." Draco takes out his wand and points it at me. I duck. "Hey, calm down. I'm just healing it, see?" He takes my hand and puts the tip of his wand to the cut. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." 

I wish I didn't flinch at everything. I wish I wanted to live. No, I want to live. I want to live and be happy and not be what this is. But this is me. And I don't want to live like this.

Draco takes over, and before I know it, class is over. "Class dismissed. Potter! Stay behind!" 

Severus said he'd be nicer to me in class, but he doesn't want it to look like hes favouring me, so he won't yell at me. He'll talk to me, but his voice sounds emotionless. I hate not knowing if he's actually mad or not. 

The classroom empties and he gestures for me to come closer. "I want you to go back to our quarters for a bit," he says. "I have a test today! I can't miss it! My grades are finally up in everything!"

"Transfiguration test? Yes, I am aware. At your detention tonight you will take the test. Nothing will be taken off of your grade."

I groan. "Why?"

"You have been out of it all day. You continue to zone out and not pay attention. Not only will your grade suffer if you take the test like this, but considering it is magic, you and others might suffer as well."

I don't want to. I don't want to be alone in there.

"Speak up," he says gently. "I don't... I don't want to be alone in there. I can still see him sometimes, and what if he finds a way in and he just..."

"Now. You know that that is impossible. McGonagal redid the wards around the entire school, and even if he somehow got past them, if he steps one foot inside the castle, he will be petrified instantly." I know he can't get inside the wards. But he could. Not only that, everyone hates me now. Anyone can get inside who goes here if they're old enough and know the right spells...

"Hey. I have a free period right now. Come on." 

He opens the portrait behind his desk and takes me through it. "Can't I just go take the test and then come here?"

"Why do you want to go to class so bad? You're missing one, Harry, it isn't that big of a deal."

"I want to be normal. Normal people don't do this!"

"You aren't normal, Harry. People like us can never be normal again, and you know that. I wish we could." He gives me a sad look. "But I want to be!"

"Well we can't, Harry. Normal people don't go through what you went through. It's not your fault you aren't normal, I wish you could be normal, but you aren't. We aren't. But that doesn't mean we're barking mad, either. Just... different."