Forget Me Not

Ch 30. Hope I Never See You Again

Two months later. Christmas Holidays.

"Hannah, you've been there inside forever now! Come out!"

"I don't look nice in this one either!"

"Arrghh."

Hannah's Christmas shopping has always been a tedious task and despite this fact, I always accompany her to the mall so that she can try out dress after dress after dress and end up not buying any one of them.

"I'm coming inside," I say and pull the curtain slightly apart to let myself in.

The changing room is a mess. There are dresses of almost all colors and sizes and styles and yet Hannah hasn't liked any one of them.

"Look at this monstrosity!" Hannah points her hands to her body to show off the dress that she's currently wearing.

"Umm, it's...okay..ish."

Hannah grunts in response.

"Well, it's way better than the yellow one."

Instead of making a decision, she just stares at the yellow dress lying amidst the heap of dresses on the floor.

"The peach one is really good, Hannah. It goes perfectly with those stilettos that you bought."

"Are you sure? Like one hundred percent?"

"Yes! Now come on, let's pay and get the hell out of her cuz I'm starving." I literally push her out of the changing room once she has changed back into her own clothes.

All I wanna do is go home and take a nap. It's almost 2 p.m and way past my lunchtime.

On the way to the check out, Hannah tries to stop at one of the racks to look at some more clothes but I pull her hand and drag her away.

"Ow! Okay, I'm coming. Jeez."

****

"Mom! Dad! I'm home." I announce as I make my way upto my room, getting excited at the prospect of crash landing on my bed.

"Rachel, wait. There's a letter for you," Mom has a strange look on her face and I know why she's giving me that look when I take the letter from her.

It's from Sarah. I recognize the Federal Bureau of Prisons logo on the envelope. For the past one month, I had been getting calls from the Federal Correctional Institute where Sarah is locked up and I had rejected them all. I had no intention to talk to her or go see her. Ever.

"Thanks," I mumble and head upstairs.

I know mom is still looking at me with that worried look. She still feels that Sarah will come in our house one night and finish what she had started.

I throw the letter on my bed and glare at it, as if doing this is going to make it disappear. What on earth does she want to say? Sorry? For making a mess out of our lives? For being a cold hearted bitch? For almost killing me and Hannah? Well, guess what? Apology denied.

Why can't she just leave me alone? How long is this going to go on? The calls and now this letter.

My nap long forgotten, I sit on my bed with a heavy sigh. Sarah was tried as an adult, thanks to her incompetent lawyer. She pleaded guilty and the judge convicted her for two counts of second degree attempted murder. As she was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, also known as BPD, her sentence was reduced from 12 to 10 years in a minimum security prison.

After the news had come, I had sat for hours in front of my laptop, reading everything about BPD. I learned that it's a disorder where a person has severe abandonment issues which leads to getting highly possessive about any one particular person in their life. BPD diagnosed people are jealous of anyone and everyone who come near that person and may act out violently in certain circumstances.

We figured out that the cause for BPD in Sarah were her parents. The fact that her father left them for some other women and her mother who was always drinking and had no time for her daughters was more than enough proof.

I pick up the letter and stare at it for a whole minute before opening it. Unfolding it open, I see Sarah's handwriting staring back at me.

Dear Rachel,

I know you don't wanna talk with me. I understand. And I know saying sorry is just gonna worsen your mood and you may tear this apart before reading it. So no, I'm not gonna ask for your forgiveness either. Because what I did can never be forgiven.

The reason that I kept calling was to tell you that I miss you. I will always miss you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me!
And I lost you because of my own mistakes. Ah! So many stupid mistakes. I had never meant to hurt you that night, I don't know what came over me. You know me, Rach. You know how calm and collected I always am. They call me Loony Bitch over here, the irony!

Maybe I deserve this hell hole for what I did to you. Hurting you is the only thing I will ever regret. Everyone else were just worthless little shits. Especially, you know who. Not gonna name her and ruin the essence of this letter.

Now all I have left is days to count and I'll be counting them with memories of us together. Just you and me. Those memories are what help me get through each grueling day.

I won't call you again, Rachel. Nor will I write again because I know hearing from me is the last thing you wish for and I don't wanna do anything to ruin your day. All I want is for you to be happy. And yeah, to remember me as your sweet little bestfriend, the one who always cared for you.

Forget me not, Rachel, because I will never forget you!

Yours one and only,
Sarah xo

My vision blurs as I read the last line but I don't let the tears fall. Tearing the paper in four, I crumple it into a tight ball and throw it in the trashcan.

"I hope I never, ever see you again, Sarah."

A/N:

Oh, damnn! It's done. It's finally donee!! Wow! I never thought I would be able to complete it. Yay!

And you guys are amazing for sticking around so far for so long. Thank you for being on this little journey with me. I hope you enjoyed!

Your votes and comments are what kept me going.

Love, Riya S.