Secrets.

Chapter 1

(This is suppose to be current. November 2012) 

I had motion sickness, so i puked everytime we road for more then 3 hours. I had pills for it but they barley worked. 

When my dad wasn't by my side, Justin or Alfredo was. Alfredo and I had grown together like brother/sister type relationship. I havent neccesiarly told him i liked Justin yet, theres hints here but there hasnt been a direct approach about it. 

I was going to tell him last night, until he was talking about Justin and Selena. I almost blurtted it out, until Justin walked in. I started blushing like crazy actually, Alfredo noticed but he didnt say anything about it. 

Its so freaking obvious that i like Justin because my whole personality, smile, attitude changes when someone mentions his name, or when he comes in the room. 

My mom brought it up before she died of cancer, i confessed to her about everything and 2 days later she was gone. Gone. Dead. 

Justin became a bestfriend when my mom died. His shoulder was the one i cried on. He had no idea what i was going through, until 2 weeks later Avalanna (If you dont know who she is, she was a girl who was close to Justin who had a rare case of cancer and died in August) died. That was the first time ive saw him cry over someone. 

Selena wasnt their, Nobody was really. But me of course. The person he hurt the most. It always works that way, doesn't it? We actually sat their one night crying our hearts out, into each others chest. It actually felt nice, it was the last time i cried - we cried. 

There's some nights i cry, yeah, but its because i wish she was here with me. I wish i could tell her how my lifes going, i wish she couldve seen me graduate, i wish she couldve seen me have my first job and travel around the world, what i was planning to do. 

Everyone tells me they're proud of me, and shes looking down at me proud as well. How do they know? 

"Demily" Someone yelled from the stage, Justin was performing on. 

"Yeah?" I mumbled Snapping out of my thoughts. 

"Outfit 5, hes about to come back" They yelled again. It was probably scrappy or someone, but i didnt mind them, i just picked up the all black outfit and his white shoes. Dont ask why he picked this outfit, but he did. 

"Here Justin," A female voice said handing him a water bottle, all i saw was her hand around the corner. He took the biggest sip before walking over to me. I pulled off his shirt before slinging the black one at him. I handed him his pants. It took less then 30 seconds to get him ready. Sarah, a new stylist, since i couldnt do his hair and clothes at the same time, fixed his hair. 

He was still unsure about her touching his hair, though. Sometimes he would hurry up and leave before she could touch him. 

"Do you want it like this?" She asked. I think she was afriad of loosing her job, because she always asked 'is this okay' 'is this good'. 

"Just go Justin" I said pushing him out the door. 

"Well Thanks, bitch" He said with a chuckel. 

"Welcome whore" I said back, turning around to be faced with a red-faced Sarah. 

"What if he didnt like it, I could loose my job!" She fussed, "My dad isnt his manager so i have to worry about loosing my job" 

"Chill," I said sitting down, "I still have to worry about loosing my job its called being social with the crew and getting to know him" I ended my sentence with a smile. 

She was the same age as me and Justin, 18. She couldnt loose her job in the middle of the tour because Justin would have to do his own hair at the arena and that would take most of the time he had for his 5 breaks in the hour long show.