Secrets.

Chapter 10 // Part 11

I laid next to Justins rather warm.body, clutching the box of pizza that laid on my legs.

"Are you better yet?" Justin asked, ruffeling my hair.

"Shut up, this is one of the best parts of the movie." The whole movie was great, and I barley remember this part, But it got Justin to shut up finally.

I rolled over to face Justin when the movie went off.

"I.." I paused noticing he was asleep. I squeezed his cheek, making his eye's flutter open. "You can't go to sleep on me, Justy." I poked out my bottom lip,  

"Don't call me that." He rolled his eyes, turning over to face me. "I'm tired."

  "It's like, barley nine." I muttered, "You have to be up early, and if you sleep now you'll be tired by the time your show starts."

   "Okay, Scooter." 

  "Don't call me that." I rolled my eye's this time. "I don't want to be him. Ever."   

I honestly didn't I didn't like my dad at the moment, he acted like i was a horrible human being for loving Justin. 

  "Too bad, because you act like him a lot" 

  "No" 

  "You do, too." Justin said assuring me, "You can't not be him."  

"My dads an Asshole." I said, defending my reputation.   

"You are too, sometimes." 

  "But he's one all the time! And he didn't appreciate shit."

  "Sometimes your selfish." 

  "Justin are you trying to call me a selfish asshole in your own terms?" I pouted,   

"No, I was just saying, you're your dads daughter." 

  "Enough of that." I pushed him by his forehead.   

He smiled, making my stomach flip. 

  His smile always made my day, it somehow tended to make me smile. I never got use to it and it never got old. It was always there to make me happy no matter what. Even if he was pissed off at me it made me happy. "Are you happy this tours over?" Justin asked.

  "This leg of it? Nah."   

"Why? You've been threatened from day 1 to be sent home, and finally that's over." 

  "But I might not be able to go with you guys to Asia, and to Europe again and all these other places." I poked out my bottom lip, "I even though wasn't like throughout this whole thing, will miss it." 

  "If it's up to me, you can come." 

  "But my dad is going to be like 'No'." 

  "And I'm going to be like, 'yes'." Justin said pressing his lips against my cheek, "I need my bestfriend with me at all times."

"Back with the bestfriend bullshit?" I muttered, pushing him off me. 

  "I haven't got the honor to take anything further." Justin said, smiling, "No ones gave me the chance."

  "You have a chance now" I said smiling, knowing he wasn't going to do it. "But whatever." 

  "Why whatever?" He looked taken back, "Do you not want be my girlfriend?" 

  I didn't say anything. Of course I did, but would I sound stupid if I said 'yes'? 

  I covered my face with the cover, trying not to show my scared look, "Maybe."

  "Maybe?" 

  "I do, but I don't. Being your friend is hard enough." 

  He moved the covers off my face, "I know, but...Demily isn't this what you wanted?" 

  "Yes, I-" I didn't know what to say, "Justin.."

  "Your dad?" He asked, curiously

  "He'll hate me."

    "He'll hate me too, but I'm not worried about it. Won't he have to get use to it?"

  "I'm just.." 

  "Do it, give us a try. For me? For you. Not for your dad or anyone else." Justin was begging, "Demily I ..." He took in a deep breathe, " I like you."   I nodded. "Okay." I bit my bottom lip, "Ill do it, I'm just tired." I lied.

  "Go to sleep then."

I laid there, my face in Justins - my boyfriends - chest. I'd never thought i would say that. Ever. 

  Was it even official? Did that actually clarify that we were dating? I didn't even know if I was actually in a relationship or not. Thats kind of sad. 

    Thump. Thump. Thump. 

  Woke me up. The bus was silent and it was still dark, I couldn't see the rain but I heard it. Justin wasn't next to me and the clock above the T.V said 1:34. Why the hell was I up?

I pushed myself out of the bed, opening the door to Justin's room. 

"What are you doing in here?" I mumbled, noticing Justin on the couch. 

  I hope I didn't make him come in here. If he wanted he out of the room he could have told me.   

"What are you doing in here?" He asked me,

  "Looking for you, so you're in here because?"   

"I couldn't sleep." 

  I craned my neck, sitting beside him. "Are you okay? You don't look okay."

  "Everything a lot, right now." He said, turning his head away from me. 

  "What's a lot?" 

  "Everything, literally," Justin sniffled. "Like the media and your dad, and this tour."  

"Justin." I've only seen him cry, when I was crying so I didn't know how to comfort him even though he's comforted me plenty of times while he was okay. "That's why you need a break."

  "I know its just." His face fell into his hands. 

  I started playing with his hair. I laid my face on his shoulder, whispering, "It's fine."  

He needs to be strong, not only for himself, for his fans but for me. I didn't want to get bad again and he was the only person who helped that. Now, I need to help him. If the only person who keeps me up is down, what can I do? I sound selfish as fuck, but it's true.   

"Don't worry about it." I pressed my face against his, removing his hands. "Clear your mind and think about positive things okay?"

    "I know..I'm just tired. Not sleepy tired, tired of this."  

 "You can't stop it though, Justin." I was telling him the truth, "I'm not saying this to upset you or anything, but you knew what came with the fame. So you have to happy, at least for your fans." 

  He didn't respond. I know everyone's told him that, and I'm not everyone.  

"It gets hard, I know." I continued, "But you have to keep going. Life doesn't stop for anybody, and I'm not going to let you sit here and be sad or mad at the world when I know you're a happy person."

  "Yeah." He said, "I know that.."

  "So why the hell don't you get the rest of your sad out tonight, and be happy. Because I know sometimes our eyes need to be wash by our tears to see life in a clear view again."

I left him with that.   

I could already tell he was wondering what the hell I was talking about.