Chasing In The Dark

21

"Are you okay?"

Nanghihinang lumapit ako kay Jeorge, but then i nodded at his question that made his forehead creased. I smiled at him to make more truly true that i am okay. I held his hand as i proceeded walking, while him on my back.

"Don't worry, we need to go. Sameir's waiting."

I saw him nod that made me sight in an instant. I thought he would state that im lying or something about my feelings, again. Maybe, my smile was convincing enough to convince him.

"Sameir baby, mommy's here."

My voiced echoed inside Jeorge office. I smiled when i saw him running towards us. I opened my arms for a hug then he jumped so i carried him and i hugged him tighed.

"M-Mommy, can't breath."

"Oh, im sorry."

Napakamot ako sa batok nang binaba ko na siya. I heard Jeorge chuckled habang nasa lamesa hinahanda ang kakainin namin. Lumapit agad naman si Sameir sa lamesa kung saan si Jeorge naghahanda. Sumunod naman agad ako duon at umupo sa tabi ni Sameir na napapagitnaan namin ni Jeorge.

Pagkatapos nang gawain namin duon sa opisina ay umuwi na kami. Sameir slept inside the car because of tiredness, Jeorge carried him inside his room. Plinano ko narin na sa kwarto muna niya ako matutulog. I want to hugged him while sleeping, i want to be on his side while sleeping.

"Dito ka matutulog?"

"Yes, i will just gonna take a bath."

"Okay."

I take my routine lazily. Walang plano sana na linisin ang sarili ngunit kailangan. I sighed when i finished doing my routines. This day is really making me tired, and do some reminisce. Nang lumabas ako sa bathroom ay bumungad sa akin si Jeorge na nakaupo sa gilid nang kama naka talikod sa akin while wearing a bathrobe. 

Dahan dahan akong lumapit sakanya at yinakap siya mula sa gilid. His looking at his cellphone waiting for a text to received but he received none. I heard him sighed.

"Why do people still wating for someone to love them back? Why i am still waiting for him to love me back? Is it hard to love a gay?"

Seeing him asking me questions like that made me think, it made some memories from my past to flash on my head. The stupidity i did just so Dad to love me back as his own, as Kendal to love me back as her own sister. Bakit nga ba? Why do people tried to do somethings to made them love by someone who they loved?

Is it hard to give people a loved that they gave you? Is it hard to give some people and attention that they needed from you? Is it hard? Kasi kung ako tatanungin, it isn't. Maraming paraan para maibigay natin iyan sa mga taong nangangailangan. Their are so many ways to do, but still they chose not to.

"Maybe they are that needy for that someone, for the love that you are saying. Sometimes, people love to wait than to force that someone to love them back. But sometimes waiting for that someone made you feel alone. That's why you need to find someone too, while waiting for that someone to love you back. For being you."

I slept beside Sameir crying while thinking about the toughts that might happened if his father will know about him. And i don't want it to happened. Natulog ako sa gabing iyon nang puno nang sakit sa puso. Hindi ko dapat ibalewala iyon, dahil anak ko ang pinag uusapan dito. Anak kong naging yaman ko nung mga panahon na walang wala ako.