Chasing In The Dark

4

I woke up at the morning feeling energetic. Feeling happy. And full of jolly.

Ganun parin ang cycle ko. As i finished eating and bathing at the morning tumakas agad ako palabas nang mansyon at pumwesto sa itaas nang puno para tignan ang araw na tumataas. It was cold but then i didn't wear a jacket. Gusto ko kasi sa pakirandam na tumatama ang hangin sa katawan ko.

"Your here again huh."

Bumaba agad ako nang puno nang makita ko ang kapatid ko na si Klenda na nasa baba nang puno nakatingala sa akin.

Thank God i didn't closed my eyes or else i will fall, again.

"Should i state that?"

Natatawang usal ko sakanya.

It was a suprised for me that she came here again. I thought kahapon lang siya pupunta dito at yun na ang huli, but then my thoughts is wrong.
I embraced her as i already standing infront of her. I heard her chuckled and as usual her chuckles is like a music into mens ears.

"You missed me?"

She asked we sit down.

"More than that."

I said smiling.

The both of us didn't talk. Our gaze was fix on the sun rising. Ang ganda. I closed my eyes and i can feel the wind blewing my hair away, as it touches my skin.

"Ganito kaya ang feeling kapag naglakad ka sa gilid nang dagat sa gabi?"

I asked out of my curiosity.

I never did those before. That's why im curious about it. Maybe she can answer that. Ang alam ko kasi kapag summer ay pumupunta sila nang Cagayan De Oro, Davao, Alegria para mamasyal nang mga beaches duon. Mga falls. Imagining it makes me feel jealous.

"It was good. You should try it sometimes."

I nodded at her statements.

Yeah, as if Dad would agree. I already tried to asked Dad about that before, back when i was fourteen. I read it in the book, and the beach was called Palawan. Tinanong ko si Dad nuon, nanghingi nang permiso kahit na nakakahiya dahil nanduon din si Kendal at Klenda. Tinanong ko siya kung pwede akong sumama sakanila kapag pupunta sila nang Palawan, but then he rejected.

I felt down at that time. I felt jealous, and i tried to asked my self that time. When will i see the world? When will i touched the white sands on the beaches that i dreamed to be touched? When will my imaginations come true? And the most thing in that time, i felt embarrass, to myself being rejected to my father. Naisip ko rin nuon na baka gusto lang akong alagaan ni Dad that time pero hindi.

As time passed by i learned how to free my imaginations by writing my own thoughts in the paper but it was not enough, and it would never be enough. I even found out that Dad is really not protecting me. He dislikes me as her daughter. Hindi ko nga alam kung tinuturung panga ako niyang anak. But then hindi ako sumusuko na iparamdam sakanya na may ako, na may isa pa siyang anak na nakakubli sa dilim.

"Here's your lunch."

Napatingin ako kay Nanay Celia na ngayon ay nakaupo na sa isang upuan katabi nang upuan ko kapag kumakain.

I smiled at her.

"Afternoon Nanay Celia."

I greeted still smiling.