The Cunning

102

"What are you choking on?" she asked.

"I get why you did it and this one time, I'll cover for you. But this can't happen again," he said. She scoffed.

"Yeah, you're right. Next time someone tries to rape me I'll politely ask them to not. I'll even cross my fingers."

Jase closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. He could do without her being difficult on top of everything else.

"There isn't going to be a next time-"

"How do you know?" she interjected, rolling her eyes when he didn't immediately respond. "Look at where we are, Jase. Think about what goes on here, the kind of people that come to your parties. Think about how many times I've been groped, grabbed or backed into a corner by one of your people." She twisted a band around the end of her plait and flicked it over her shoulder before rubbing her face with her hands. "I'm not safe out there, and I'm not safe in here, whether you're here or not."

Jase swallowed the guilt. He could understand the anger. He had promised he wouldn't let anything happen to her, he'd promised to protect her and he'd failed. The one time she really needed him and he'd been downstairs trying to save face at a party he hadn't even wanted to have.

"I'm sorry," he said. Madison peered through her fingers at him then threw her hands up and laughed manically.

"Well, that settles it then. Trauma cured mate, nice one."

Jase wasn't sure what to do at this point, Madison was teetering on the edge of a breakdown or a blow up and he didn't want to set off the downward spiral. She shook her head.

"What happened isn't even the real issue here, is it? We both know that," she said, pressing her lips together. Jase frowned, his brows drew together.

"Do we?" he replied. Because as far as he was concerned, it was currently the only real issue that required addressing. Madison tilted her head, her anger had melted into a solemn defeat.

"You're losing control," she said. Jase bristled slightly.

"And how have you come to that conclusion?" he questioned, folding his arms. Madison avoided looking at him.

"Because it's dangerously obvious to anyone that had a whiff of how things were when I first arrived." He narrowed his eyes but continued to listen. "Benny's disappeared right in the middle of it all-" Jase went to interrupt but Madison held up a finger, "-let me finish. He has his reasons, fine. But there's been a lot going on out of the ordinary and due to the timing of Benny's lack of presence, people will assume you can't handle your own. Mitch knows you're looking after me, he'll be spreading that like wildfire, telling people you're whipped and you've gone soft. Some people won't take any notice but some will, Charlie did and look what happened. Me being here puts not only me at risk, but you as well. Janine and Sam, too. You look weak, and people are going to try and take advantage of that and that's exactly what Mitch wants because then he won't have to deal with you himself, he can just wait you out."

Jase had somewhat respected Madison's point of view until now. He didn't like hearing her repeat what Sam had said in the car almost word for word. He didn't want to accept that there was a hint of truth to their opinions that were bordering more on facts. He certainly didn't like Madison referring to him as weak in any manner.

"I was wrong when I listened to the opinion of sheep, now I'm wrong for not listening to the opinion of sheep, pick a side and stick to it. Also, I am more than capable of dealing with all of this without Benny. People can try and take advantage as much as they like but they won't get very far," he replied. Madison groaned in frustration at his ego, getting to her feet.

"But they will, Jase. They already have. Charlie, Adam, Harvey, the guy that tried to stab you, lord knows who else-"

"You're getting a bit too big for your boots," he grunted.

"You're the one that let me wear them," Madison quipped back. "You can't live in denial of it forever because time is running out-"

"Then what do you want me to do, huh? Seeing as you have all the fucking answers. How do I balance whatever the fuck this-" he gestured to himself and her, "-is and making sure we get to Mitch before he can get to you and garauntee no one tries to stab us in the back again? How?" The volume of his voice rose as his stress levels finally broke the scale and soared. "How? Because I'm losing my fucking mind right now. I planned getting rid of Peter, it was clean, I knew his background and whether someone would come looking for him. Charlie was sloppy, his blood is all over the bedroom, there were people in the house, I don't know if someone was expecting him home at any point and now I'm telling you that regardless of this, I'll cover for you and you tell me I'm losing control and look weak? Because I'm willing to cover for you? What the fuck do you want from me at this point?"

Madison took a step towards him, reaching up and placing her hands on his jaw, feeling the tension in his bones and a solid lump where he was gritting his teeth. Her touch mollified him, only by a fraction but the teeth unclenched. Jase couldn't remember the last time he cried but he felt close to it at the look on her face. An easy, reassuring expression that he found impossibly sincere considering what had happened not four hours ago. He had expected to come home and offer her comfort, not the other way around.

Everything was a mess. And he'd seen messes. He'd seen his mum nodding off over lit candles after dropping her spoon preparing for another hit. He'd seen men open her legs when she'd been half conscious on the sofa and take from her. He'd seen her attack his dad, smashing glasses and throwing kettles.

And yet he couldn't recall feeling as out of control as he currently felt. Madison was right, as was Sam, and it was crushing him to admit it.

"It's over, Jase."