No Longer Euphoria | Nate Jacobs

Part 16

*Trigger warning: there is mention of older men taking advantage of younger girls so please be aware. Mature content as per usual :)*

I practically skip into my room and head straight for the cupboard. If there's one thing I love, it's dressing up. I decide to go for a relatively causal look. I pull out a coral coloured crop top and chuck on some blue ripped jeans. I curl my hair and put some makeup on, and then there's a knock at the door. Omg I totally forgot that McKay was picking me up. My parents are going to see him. That's fine, I'll just make a quick exit and save the introductions for another time. I race down the stairs before anyone else can make it to the door, I've thrown on a pair of converse, grabbed my purse from the hanging rack by the door and bolted. "Bye mum, bye dad", I yell as I open and then swiftly close the door behind me. McKay gives me a weird look before pulling me in for a hug. I make it short lived and tug him in the direction of the car. "How are you", he says. "Yeah I'm good! Definitely excited for paranormal activity 2", I say. "I can't wait for you to get scared and cuddle me", he smirks. Ohhh boy he clearly doesn't know me very well, I love scary movies. "Yeah yeah" I smile. We make our way to the movies and as we pull up, see Maddy and Nate standing outside of the cinema.

"Hey you sexy couple" Maddy says. Nate rolls his eyes, what is his problem? "Hey Maddy" I grin. "Excited for the movie?" She says. "Hell yeah I am" I say. "Alright girls lets go and get our seat" McKay says. We begin to walk inside and receive our tickets. We walk to the food bar. "Do you want anything baby?" McKay asks. "I'll just share some popcorn with you babe" I reply. As the boys are buying the popcorn, Maddy pulls me to the side. "Sooo, how's McKay?" She asks. "Oh Maddy, he's honestly so perfect. Like he genuinely is just gorgeous" I reply. "Awww, I'm so happy for you!" She says. We're cut off by Nate shoving the popcorn into Maddy. "What the fuck Nate?!" Maddy raises her voice. Nate just giggles and shakes his head. McKay comes up behind me and gently offers me some popcorn. I take some and say thank you before shooting Nate a glare. McKay and I start to walk to our cinema room, Maddy and Nate following, arguing along the way. McKay and I take a seat at the back of the cinema, I mean come on, it's a couple thing. Maddy and I sit next to each other and the boys are on the ends of each of us. I life the arm rest up and snuggle into McKay, he lifts my chin up and gives me a kiss. I blush and smile at him. "You ready for the movie?" McKay asks. "Sure am" I say.

About halfway through the movie, I feel eyes on me. I look up at McKay to see, but he's focused on the screen. I look to my right and see Nate staring straight through me. I kinda need to pee and I feel like this is a great moment to leave. I turn to McKay and say "Just going to go to the toilet, I'll be right back". I stand up and walk my way out of the cinema and toward the toilets. After I'm done, I stand at the mirror for a little bit and just wonder. What exactly is Nate's problem? Is it that he likes me? I'm so sick of thinking about it. It just frustrates me that I can't figure him out. Usually guys are pretty easy to figure out, even when they're confusing. You can usually figure out the reasons behind it, but with Nate, I'm baffled. He has a gorgeous girlfriend, good friends, everyone at school loves him, he's a great football player and has good grades. He seems to have a great family, I mean I don't understand. He has everything he's ever wanted and yet he still wants to mess with me? I decide that I've been in the toilet for a bit too long and so I begin to open the door and I feel someone grab my wrist. I look in their direction to find it's Nate. Before I can say anything, he pulls me into the janitors cupboard and locks the door. "Nate what—" he cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine passionately. "NATE STOP" I yell and pull away. "What do you think you're doing?!" I say. "Cassie, I wouldn't make a scene right now" he says. "What do you even mean?" I reply. "Just kiss me" he says. "No wtf I'm not going to do that Nate, I have a boyfriend and YOU have a girlfriend remember?" I spit. "Cassie I know exactly what you fucking did and if you don't do as I say I'll make sure everyone else does too" he seethes. What. No. This can't be real. There is no way he could possibly know I mean why bother to dig that deep about me? "What do you mean" I reply shakily. "I was the one that wrote you that note. Cassie, I know you had a thing for older dominant men at one stage. I mean the video you made wasn't easy to find, I had to do a bit of digging but I managed to find it. How exactly did you get rid of it so well? What lengths did you go to? I mean for people to truly believe it wasn't real and someone had used face programming software. Who exactly did you contact to have it removed from all the mainstream websites? I had to dig in some very dark places Cassie" he says. I can't breathe. The room goes black and I feel myself begin to fall, and then I feel nothing.

I feel myself be shaken roughly and I slowly open my eyes. It's McKay. "Cassie are you okay? Nate said he had to go to the toilet and found you on the floor unconscious" he says. Of course he did, the lying so of a — "yeah I'm fine" I reply. "I just feel a little bit whoosy, I didn't eat much today. Is it okay if I just go home?" I say. "Yeah of course, here let me help you up" he says. "I hope you feel better soon" Maddy says as we begin to walk out the door. Nate stand there next to her smirking at me, knowing full well what caused me to just full on collapse... dick. McKay pulls up to the front of my house and stops the car. "Text me later tonight okay, I want to make sure you're all good before you go to sleep" he says. "Okay baby, thank you for tonight. Sorry for ruining it" I say. "Don't be sorry baby, it's not your fault at all. I'll see you tomorrow at school" he says. "Okay baby, I'll see you then" I say. We kiss and I hop out of the car. I walk up the stairs to my room, get into my pj's and go to bed. I want this nightmare to end.

—————————————————————————

*Bzzzzzz* *Bzzzzzz*

Ugh can whoever that is fuck off. I look at my phone, and see that it's 12:01am. I don't bother looking at who it is because I'm too tired and I don't care. I roll over and go back to sleep.

*Bzzzzzz* *Bzzzzzz*

Again? What the fuckkk. I pick my phone up and see I have 2 missed calls and 1 text from Nate. What the hell? His text reads:

Nate: Cassie you need to pick up.

Actually, I don't 'need' to do anything you prick. Just as I go to put my phone down, my phone rings. It's obviously Nate, who else. I decide to pick up. "Nate go to fucking bed. It's late and we both have the game tomorrow night" I say. "Cassie we never finished our conversation" he says. "Look Nate, I don't really want to finish it. I don't want to know what you have to say" I reply. "You obviously do, otherwise you wouldn't have fainted. Clearly it affects you still and you don't want anyone to know" he says. Fucks sake. Can he not just leave me alone? "Why do you want to hurt me like this? Do you get a thrill out of it? You fucking sick freak" I yell before hanging up on him. I can't deal with him.

*Bing*

I look at my phone and see that Nate has attached a video. I click on the text and see that it's the video I made 2 years ago. I feel sick to my stomach. I haven't seen this since it happened, and it fills me with anxiety. I watch every aspect of it, taking in and processing that I actually did that. I was 16, and stupid. I've always liked older men, I like to feel owned and dominated. It's always been something that makes me feel safe and I can't explain why. The man that pretty much forced me to make that video used to smear red lipstick all over my lips before filming or taking a photo. He used to say that it made me look older and turned him on. That's why whenever I cheer, I have some serious PTSD flashbacks. I find myself just dissociating from my environment and I fixate on the moment where he did it. The face he made when he said it. Every single detail... etched into my mind. Nate breaks my train of thought when I see his caller ID pop up again. "Nate what do you want from me?" I say. "I don't want to threaten you Cassie, you don't give me any other choice" he says. "What do you WANT" I say sternly. "I want you Cassie" he says. "What? Why could you possibly want me. You think I'm a slut and you have a girlfriend already" I say. "You fascinate me, and I want you. I want to know you're only mine and no one else's. Especially not my best friends. I want you to do as I say and stay quiet about it to everyone else. If you want to keep McKay around just so no one knows, that's your deal but Cassie I want you to be my property" he says. "You're fucked up, you know that Jacobs" I say. "Be a good girl for daddy" he says before he hangs up. What the fuck do I do. I don't want anyone at this school knowing about my video so I guess I'm just going to have to play along with his sick request. I won't do anything with him though, McKay is the first boy that's ever treated me right. I'll try and find a way out of this, I know I can. I roll over, and feel a tear fall from my eye. Knowing I won't be able to sleep, I reach for my bottom draw. I pull out an old Hannah Montana CD case and open it up to find a few illegally bought Valium I stashed in there when I was younger. I've always had issues with anxiety and these help when I can't bear the world anymore. As it kicks in, I slowly fall asleep, feeling myself become number and number as I drift off.