A Journey to Trust and Heal

3- Trespasser

I reached college a few minutes before the warning bell. Everyone was chatting around with their friends.

I gave a small smile to some acquaintances who I had talked with for the group projects before and then sat down in my corner seat.

Yes acquaintances not friends, that's just what I was able to make without hyperventilating.

I was filled with guilt whenever I talked to any girl thinking she could have been my father's victim. And boys were out of question. I knew not all men were same, there were some good men too and I had been fortunate enough to have few of them in my life but still I couldn't gather courage to face them, to trust them.

I had grown overly cautious, thinking that any one of these guys could turn out like my father. So I stayed away from every single one of them.

I sat alone everyday. It felt lonely but I was willing to suffer loneliness instead of facing guilt and fear.

Many tried talking with me or become my friend in the starting days of college but they gave up when I didn't respond to their efforts sometimes even going as far as to being rude to them if they pestered me for the second time.

I sighed looking at all my classmates who were excited about fresher's party. Almost everyone was talking about it.

"SILENCE", the professor yelled as soon as he entered the class.

Upon hearing the professor everyone went quite for 5 seconds but they started talking again with each other.

No one could take away their excitement today, not even the strictest teacher of our college. I guess the professor understood that as well after watching the students gush to each other about today's event. He just sighed and took out a book to read instead of scolding the students.

It would have been better if he did scold them and had started the lecture because at times like this my loneliness hit me tenfold.

The same scene continued in other lectures as well.

Finally the lectures ended. While everyone moved towards the destination where party was held , I left for home.

I was going to ring the doorbell when I saw that the door was partially opened. Strange, Ganga Tai never forgot to close the door.

"Ganga Tai, Where are...", I stopped in middle of calling her when I saw an unknown man in the kitchen.

I couldn't see his face as he was facing the other side but I was sure that he wasn't anyone I knew.

I was scared but I took a deep breathe and grabbed the flower vase and ran towards the kitchen.

I was going to hit him without clarifying his purpose of coming inside the house but then I thought better of it. I didn't want to hurt him if he was an innocent person. Who knows? Maybe Ganga Tai had called him.

Clutching the vase tightly in my hand, I asked him, "Who the hell are you?".