Chapter 42

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I woke up as Austin came back into the room. He was in his school uniform. I hadn't seen any of the boys in their uniform as they always were in their sports gear or had just changed out of it. He kind of looked like a businessman or a teacher.

"What are you looking at?" He glared playfully.

"You look like a teacher." I giggled. My old school didn't really have a uniform. They had certain bits that you could buy, but no one really wore them, so it was considered free dress.

"Everyone looks like this. Just you wait and you will too." I let that sink in for a bit. Soon I'm starting school. I won't know anyone or what to do. "It'll be fine. Don't worry, its not for a while." Austin told me, after sensing my fear.

"Yeah." I said quietly. I hadn't really given it that much thought since being here, but I couldn't stay at home forever. Chris and Mum had things to do. They couldn't just sit around at my beck and call for the rest of my life. I have to go to school.

"You should go back to sleep. We went to bed so late and you can't be tired if you want to go skateboarding." He told me before mumbling, "God I sound like such a parent."

"I'm not tired at all, see!" I sat up. "I'm sure I'll have lots of energy when we go skateboarding."

"Right." He laughed.

"Are you going to pick me up? I don't know where the skate park is, and I don't want to bother anyone in getting me there. Maybe I can walk?" I rambled. I was so excited to spend time with Austin without it being because I needed attention and care. This was purely for fun and enjoyment.

"Woah, I don't know yet. I've got to see what time it is."

"Oh."

"I'll call you and tell you, okay? Make sure you keep your phone close."

"You don't have my number. I have yours but you don't have mine."

"Well, you text me and say 'hi, it's Ash' and then I'll have your number." He smirked. I don't know what was so amusing to him, but I was too excited to care.

"I'll go now!"

"Aren't you going to sleep more?" He chuckled.

"No time for sleep! I have jobs to do."

"Texting isn't exactly a job!" He yelled after me. I was already halfway down the stairs.

"Austin?" I knocked on his door.

"Ashlyn?" He mimicked, opening the door.

"I don't know how to send you a text." He tried to hold back his laugh but didn't do a very good job. I knew how to use snapchat since I messaged Morgan on there but hadn't had to text someone new on iMessage before.

Austin went through everything I needed to know and then rushed out the door, catching his ride with Sean and Jonah just in time. I went back downstairs and decided to get some breakfast. Laura was out with Abi and Chris was working, so I took it upon myself to get food. I had seen everyone move around the kitchen enough to know where most things were.

First step was to find cereal. I didn't trust myself to use the toaster alone.

I looked around the pantry and found it, semi-high up. I was the shortest in this house by a good amount and now was when it showed. I looked around for a stool but ended up quietly dragging a chair in to stand on. That chair came in handy afterwards when I had to get a bowl down from the cabinet above. I felt pretty proud of myself after pouring the cereal and the milk into the bowl without spilling anything.

I sat down at the table and messaged Morgan on snapchat whilst eating my cereal and got a bit distracted with all the games and the filters. I only realised I had been entirely focussed on my phone for too long when Nick appeared and took my cereal.

"Hey!" I whined.

"You weren't eating it." He smiled, mouth full.

"I was. I was just distracted."

"Eh, mine now."

"But I made that myself! I had to climb on a chair to get it!"

"Congrats on making your first bowl of cereal and graduating from floor to chair. I can make you toast?"

"I want the cereal though!"

"Mum will go off her head if she found out you ate the amount you did. The amount in this bowl is 3 times what she would give us. Do you know how much sugar is in this?" He ranted.

"Toast please." I mumbled.

"Perfect." He smirked.

"Ash, I think we need to sit and chat." Mum said to me, Chris close behind her. I suddenly felt kind of nervous and could feel the need to grip something. I had never noticed the urge before.

I followed them into Chris's office and sat down in one of the big comfy chairs, tucking my legs underneath me. I was still in my pyjamas.

"Last night was a bit worrying for all of us. We don't want you getting hurt and we want everything to be as calm as possible." Mum said, looking at Chris for reassurance the entire time.

"There are specialists that can help, Ash. We can go see someone who can help with exactly what you're dealing with and help you to get through it." Chris explained.

"But there's nothing wrong with me."

"Oh honey, we know. You're perfect just the way you are, but we don't want to see you hurting yourself. I mean, look at your arms. They look so bruised and sore. Wouldn't it be nice to sleep peacefully too?" Laura asked. She was so worried.

"Yeah." I said quietly. "But I don't want to go to a doctor. I don't like the hospital." Looking back, I felt like I was in the hospital for ages. I didn't have a bad experience, but every day just mushed together, and nothing ever changed. I didn't want to spend any more time away from home.

"It's not like that at all. It will be an office exactly like this and it can just be you and the specialist. We can get a female specialist too if that makes you more comfortable. Anything that makes this the easiest process for you." Chris added.

"So it's not like a doctor?"

"Not really. A different kind of doctor."

"Okay." I nodded. If these would help them be more at peace, then I would do it. Maybe it would help me too but I'm doing it more for them.

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