The One Where All The Knights Love Fem!Merlin

Interlude - Merlin's Thoughts on the Boys, + Morgana Learning Magic

Merlin may be completely oblivious, but she was not completely oblivious. 

Of course she knew Gwaine loved her. She loved him back. He was the most obvious about his feelings. Gwaine, despite how he often acted, was very observant, and knew when to not go to far. He understood how she had felt about Lancelot and what feelings remained. Gwaine was cautious when it came to showing her affection, but slowly, as she healed from Lancelot's death, he allowed himself to become closer to her. And yeah, they kissed a few times. Gwaine was the only one who knew her real name, one of her closest kept secrets, just like how Lancelot knew of her magic. Merlin could see herself with Gwaine in the future.

There was just one problem. Actually, there were a few. The first one being Arthur.

Merlin was not completely sure how to feel about Arthur. She knew she loved him, but she could not decide on to what extent. She and Arthur were two sides of the same coin. They completed each other. Sometimes, it seemed like Arthur loved her, and sometimes he was a total prat. She knew he would do anything for her, as she would do anything for him. Merlin knew that she was a servant and he was a king, which made it hard for anything to form between them. 

Leon reminded Merlin of Lancelot sometimes, with his quiet affection. He, like the others, had risked his life for her on many occasions. The man was very thoughtful and kind. He knew about her heritage and did not hate her for it. Leon did not even refuse to acknowledge it. He gave Merlin a dragon bracelet for her birthday for goodness' sake. This just went to show that if she were to reveal her magic to him, there was a possibility that he would not hate her or turn her in. Leon was quiet and shy. If he held any feelings for her, he would not show them. A part of Merlin hoped he did.

Which, again, is part of the problem. Merlin did not want to lead any of these men on. She loved each of them, but in a slightly different way. Merlin did not wish to break any of their hearts. She was not even sure if the latter two had any feeling for her. Perhaps she was just thinking too much.

But since she was thinking, there were a few more knights to think about.

Percival had been avoiding Merlin ever since her birthday. She wondered if she had done something wrong. It was a shame, because she thought of him as a brother. They had both known Lancelot and had bonded because of it.

(Sorry Percival.)

And Elyan... Well, Merlin had not even realized Elyan had any feelings for Merlin. That had come as a surprise to her. She felt horrible that she was unable to return them. Then again, that was probably for the best. She hoped he would forgive her some day.

Mordred? Mordred was quite a few years younger than her. She was fond of the boy and had noticed that he admired her. Merlin only hoped that that was where his feelings for her ended. 

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YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE SECTION OF THIS CHAPTER WHERE MORGANA LEARNS MAGIC

"I came back in with some extra blankets," Gwen explained to Uther. "There was a candle, but I put it out."

"Are you sure?" Uther asked.

"I blew it out- I swear."

"Gwen has been Morgana's servant for years," Arthur spoke up. "If she said she put it out, I believe her."

Gwen shot Arthur a thankful smile.

"She couldn't been burnt alive."

The night before, a fire started in Morgana's chambers. The entire curtain for her window was completely burnt. This happened some time after Merlin met Lancelot, but before she met Gwaine.