WITH GRACE.

26장

when i expected a nod of agreement from him, sunghoon looked away from me.

"no, eunhye. leave me alone," he said in a small voice.

vulnerable to the pain ㅡ this was the image i see sunghoon in at the moment.

i sighed.

"fine, i'm giving you an hour to yourself. i'll be staying at a distance," he looked at me with sad eyes, though he did not stop me from leaving.

i settled at a bench hidden behind a tree in the same park. from here, i could slightly make out sunghoon's form. his back was slouched. i could also see how he covered his face with his large hands. soon, his back trembled and his hands were now grasping his hair.

sunghoon was distressed and frustrated.

in the events that transpired from the previous hour, i could feel the deep sentiment burrowed in sunghoon's heart.

for a child to grow up being restrained, suffocation will come as consequence. it had started from a good intention, but greed was pre-programmed in our being. greed created a rift and brought discord between sunghoon and his mother.

i knew it was time for me to step in. i left my seat and walked to sunghoon's direction. upon reaching his frame, i immediately engulfed him in a tight hug, not minding if i was kneeling on grass. he accepted the hug immediately, snuggling his face on the crook of my neck. his sobs grew louder and i felt my shirt get damp from the tears he cried.

he stopped crying after a few minutes, but he stayed in my embrace longer. when he felt relieved from his constrained emotions, he let go of me and i was finally able to settle myself in a better position. i sat on the swing beside his.

"isn't this deja vu, sunghoon-ah? except what we experienced wasn't a mere illusion of the mind, or so we wished it was," i started.

"i want to ask you again, sunghoon. are you happy with the decisions you chose for yourself?" he looked at me for a moment and looked ahead again, a small smile gracing his lips.

"i... i am. i'm happy with the decisions i made. i'm happy with the path i chose to pursue. i feel more human, i feel like i'm more like myself the moment i chose dancing over skating. i feel more alive and fulfilled," he said, the same small smile still evident on his face.

it made me smile.

"i'm happy too. you know why? well, of course you don't, but hearing those words straight out of your mouth ㅡ i can feel you heart, your sincerity,"

"i'm happy, eunhye, but it doesn't always feel like that. at times, i feel bad when i look at my mother. memories of the past, her sacrifices for me ㅡ the nights she spent driving me to practice, the hours she dedicated to watch me ㅡ they're all embedded in my mind. it hurts me to think of the disappointment on her face and the missing understanding,"

"your feelings are justified, sunghoon. it had been a rough ride between you and your mother and the rift continues to expand. i'm in no ppace to say this, but you had equal responsibilities on this matter. yes, your mother may have been too controlling and lacked understanding, but from what i can make out of this ㅡ you also failed to express your feelings, the real and honest ones, properly,"

he stayed silent.

"sunghoon-ah," i held his hand to capture his attention.

his eyes stared straight into mine and i continued my talk.

"it's not yet late to mend the crack in your relationship. it may not seamlessly heal, scars may remain etched in your hearts, but it's never too late to talk it out and fix this matter. understand each other, sunghoon. that's what the both of you need," i said and smiled.

sunghoon returned the smile and his eyes turned tender.

"i can't believe i let you see me in this state," he muttered.

"you didn't say that when this first happened," i replied.

"it's different now, eunhye,"

"why, what's the difference then?"

"you, i, and our feelings," he said, eyes coated with honesty.

"so? it wouldn't change anything, would it? instead, it made me want to care for you more and give you warm hugsㅡ"

"then give me one," he said, desperate and demanding.

i smiled at the sight ㅡ the childlike and vulnerable sunghoon ㅡ and i hugged him again.

"i don't have chocolates with me this time, but i hope my hugs make up for it," i said.

"no, your hugs are better,"

a little while after, i urged him to return home and fix the matter as soon as they can. he agreed and we walked back to their complex. sunghoon hugged me from the back, his head resting on top of my head.

"hey! isn't this uncomfortable? we're walkingㅡ"

"shhh, let it be. this is comforting, eunhye-ah,"

"people are watchingㅡ"

"so? let them be,"

we stayed in that uncomfortable arramgement until we reached their door. he turned to look at me as if asking for assurance and i nodded. he sighed before he finally pried the door open.

his mother was on their living room, sitting. i noticed her fingers fidget anxiously, her eyes laden with regret and sadness. when she spotted us in the same space, she abruptly stood up.

"sunghoon, son!" she went near him and held his face between her hands.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry," with that, she started sobbing.

i didn't miss to catch a sight of sunghoon's glistening eyes as he looked back at me, holding his mother in an embrace. i signalled them to get some space and talk things through.

i, on the other hand, went to get my bag from their dining table. it was already high noon and the two have no idea i would be staying out this late so i figured it was time for me to go home.

when i reached their living room, however, there were two other people ㅡ one was yeji.

"eunhye unnie!" she ran to me and embraced my small frame.

"yeji-ah," i said, smiling.

"eunhye, is it?" the other person, a man in his working attire, intervened.

"yes, sir," i courteously replied, still holding on to yeji.

"i'm glad to meet you, dear. thank you for making my wife and soon mae up. it truly means a lot to us," he looked at me with a gentle gaze and subtle smile.

"thank you, unnie," yeji followed.

"i'm glad to be of assistance, mr. park, yeji,"