Redeeming the Darkness

Chapter Thirty - Zane

Ivy was released the following morning and we went home to a clean house. Sandro texted me the day before letting me know that my dad had been arrested, again, and the police needed me to come to the precinct to give them my account of what happened.

I walked into our bedroom to tell Ivy where I was going and saw her staring at her belly in the mirror.

"Is it just me or do I literally look pregnant now?" she asked. I laughed because it was like finding out she was pregnant forced the bottom part of her belly to pop out just a bit. She placed her hand over her belly and I looked at the tattoo of my name on her finger, instead of a wedding ring.

Remembering her face as she got it kept the smile plastered on my face and I walked up behind her, so I could see my own tattoo.

I'd gotten the ivy plant starting at my heart and wrapping around my side. It was all over my back and went down one arm all the way to my wrist. Ivy covered me and when she'd seen it she almost cried since she didn't know I was getting it.

"I think you look a little pregnant now," I agreed.

"How wild is this?"

"It's incredibly wild. Did you tell your parents?"

"No, not yet. It hasn't really sunk in yet."

I hesitated before asking, "are you happy?"

She immediately turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I've never been happier or more content in my entire life."

"I'm glad you feel that way because I'm happy, too." I kissed her before pulling away. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel really sore, but it's more my muscles, which is kind of weird. I feel like I ran a marathon or something."

"The doctor said you'd feel sore for a couple weeks." I sighed. "I have to run to the police station to give them my statement since I didn't get to yesterday."

"You're pressing charges against your dad?" she asked, seeming concerned.

"Absolutely." I answered. "There's no way he's getting away with this, Ivy. He could have killed you or our baby, or both."

"I'm not saying you shouldn't press charges, but I think something else needs to happen."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you need to try to convince him to go to rehab or something."

I let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, that'll be the day. He's had an entire lifetime of family and love pass him by while he wasted away in the bottom of a can of beer. I don't think he's going to ever get to a place where he's ready to be a man and get his issues under control."

"Zane, I know I hated your dad for everything he did to you and your family, but I'm starting to wonder if his demons are just so dark that maybe he's scared to walk away from all he's ever known. Just think about what I said, okay? We're having a baby and I want to be able to share the excitement with everyone. I don't want to worry about my kid going to visit your mom because your dad might be drunk."

Understanding registered. She was trying to correct a mistake now to protect our daughter's future.

"I'll talk to the police today about it and see what I can do. Maybe if he agrees to rehab, I won't press charges. I'll have to wait and see what he says, too."

"Promise me that we'll try to help him. I don't think anyone has ever really tried before and I don't want to add to that number."

I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and headed to the car. On the ride, I thought about how lucky I was to have found someone that would want to look past the ugly baggage I came with. Someone who wanted to stay after seeing the skeletons in my closet. For so long I thought I was doomed to live a life like my father. I'd already been addicted to drugs, alcoholism wasn't a far cry.

It was always a shadow at the back of my mind, that one day I would be the spitting image of him. I was afraid to love because I didn't know if a day would come where I would be so drunk, I'd hit her.

What if life turned crazy and I fell into the cycle I so badly wanted to stop? What if I hurt my wife? What if I hurt my daughter?

My breathing started to turn painful and I pulled over into a restaurant parking lot. I pulled out my cell phone and opened my pictures. I'd taken a picture of Ivy holding the ultrasound picture the day before and made it my background immediately.

I stared at Ivy and felt my heart rate start to slow. I could never, ever hurt this woman. I knew in every fiber of my being that nothing I could ever face would be enough to cause me to choose anything over her and our baby.

She deserved so much, and I'd already failed at giving her what she asked me for. She'd made me promise to give her adventure and I felt like I hadn't given her enough of that. I didn't even give her a wedding day. All I succeeded in doing was showing her what a jerk I could be that day.

I smiled down at her picture and knew exactly what I could do to make things the way they should be. I may not completely deserve someone as amazing as her, but I was too selfish now to give her up. Especially now that we'd created something incredible.