It's not that complicated![ON HOLD]

Chapter 13

Feelings make things complicated and the every same feelings make us human.
-so she writes

***
We all want something we don't have and we all don't want something we already have. Meaning that we don't really want anything at all. Think about it, if we get the thing we want, we wouldn't want it no more,right? So why want them in the first place?

I couldn't bring myself to text the mysterious guy and tell home I got home safe and I didn't understand the reason why. I know I could've killed for someone to be this concerned about me but now that someone is concerned I don't know how to feel about it.

I've been staring at my phone for the past 16 minutes contemplating whether or not to text him. My thumb was doing the fun dance thing hovering over the keyboard while I was thinking of what to right.

"You are going to bore holes into that phone and your thumb will grow muscles from straining it"
I do a full 180 and see my mom staring at me. She gives me the 'are-you-okay' look where she stares at me eyebrows raised and hands on her waist.
"Uhmmm-what??-I mean, no I'm not" I say trying to defend myself as if I was caught doing something illegal. Well texting a guy in my mom's house is sorta illegal, she still thinks of me as if I'm 6.
"Why don't you just text the person and get it over and done with? You literally have nothing to lose."
"Well...it's not that easy" I answer back shoving my phone in my back pocket.
"Well make it, the situation clearly won't get any better by you boring holes in that phone of yours. Why is it such a big deal?" She says as if she could read what was going on in my mind. 
"It's not a big deal, I just don't know if I should text this person or not" I vaguely say, not trying to hint to her that I'm taking about a boy.
"What does your heart say?"
"That I should text but my mind is warning me not to get hurt" I say conflicted.
"Then it's very easy, Follow your heart baby, but don't forget to take your mind with you. Now call on you brothers, dinner is ready"

That's my mom right there. She gives the wisest of words while you least expect it. It's like she knows what to say and when to say it.

Follow my heart but take my mind with me? Was this a riddle of some sort? I think as I walk to to the living room to call my brothers.

Dinner with my small family was great, the funniest dinner we had. My youngest brother couldn't aim for his mouth because he was too tired while my other younger brother was being teased about his play dates and me being teased about having dry humor.

Since it was my younger brothers turn to wash the dishes, I was clear to go to my room and chill for the rest of the night.

I was listening to Heartbreak Anniversary by Giveon and it reminded me of Jake. I don't know why but he just came in mind when the song played. Maybe it's because he introduced to the artist or maybe it's because I simply still care.

Ding! Ding!
My phone vibrates and I immediately wonder who could have texted me. I don't know if you realize but I never really talk to anyone. Becca was my closest friend followed by Faith but yet I rarely spoke to them. We all know Faith is acting a lil weird at the moment as I do not know what's going on with her and as for Tall girl Becca, we only talk once in a while.

If Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear was a person it would be Jake. He had such good timing that it pissed me off sometimes.

hi! Princess 👸🏽 I was thinking about you and I thought I should check up on you. So yeah, I hope you good
You don't have to reply.

Sorry once again. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you❤️😘

Jake💜

You know when you are up late and you were not supposed to be? you get messages from people you shouldn't? Ruining your mood.

This was what I was going through, if I had been asleep, I would've have never seen this text.

Advice to y'all
Never stay up after 12. It's a trap!

I stared at Jakes texts and frown at it. I thought he had done pestering me, and for the second time today, my thumb dances over the keyboard. How to you reply to such text? A thought comes in mind and I smile like crazy. Send him a text that say wont mean anything. Give him some sort of hope.

Me:.....

Yeah...I just sent him full stops. Knowing that he is waiting for a reply he will probably flip when when he sees my name but he will be disappointed when he saw what's written or lack of in this case. I'm evil ain't I? That's just what you get after playing me.

Then I realize, if I could text someone who broke my heart. Why can't I text someone who wants to build it?

The mysterious guy has been nothing but sweet to me and here I am ignoring him.

Type!!!

I bet you smiled when you saw my name pop up on your phone just now.😉😉

And send!!!

Right after this, I put my phone on flight mode and pretended like my stomach wasn't doing jumping jacks. You know how you feel after sending a risky text?
You lay in your bed hiding behind your blankets and pillows. That's how I felt right now. Dizzy as a 5 year old and blushing liking crazy .

Was the text a little to flirty??

I really hope not. The mysterious guy makes my heart skip a beat.

I really wonder what his name is.

Brian! He must know his name.

With that thought in mind I fall into a deep sleep. And no I didn't dream about the mysterious guy( though I wanted to 😩)

**
Sorry for taking so long to upload, I'm having guy issues 😩😩😂😂funny how I'm like Nicole right now

Nways don't forget to show me love by commenting down below.

Your Savage Bitch
Lettie🌸💜