Red Feather (Hawks x Reader)

A date of sorts-again

So apparently, my plan didn't work as well as I wanted it too. I went from feeling kind and understanding to fuming over the things he said to me. It was hard because I knew I just needed to talk, but I was still angry.

I went two days mulling over the situation in my head. I wanted an apology and for us to be close again, but I can't just march into his office and demand a 'sorry.'

It was the end of the day and I handed Mr. Ito time sheet to Gabriella. And went to Hawk's office door. I had done this every day. I wanted to knock, but I always chickened out (pun intended). Although I wasn't in a threatening situation, I had that cold feeling in my stomach like the night he broke into my house.

My hand hovered over the door like it had two days before and I bit my lip. I took a deep breath and knocked quietly. I stood there, waiting for a response, while the majority of my mind was praying that it was too quiet for him to hear, while a larger part if me knew my prayers would go unanswered due to his feathers.

"Come in," a gruff voice grumbled.

I pushed open the door, and Hawks was leaning back in his chair, feet kicked up. He sat upright as I closed the door.

"What is it?" he questioned with expressionless and lidded eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you." I picked at my fingers.

"I could figure that out when you knocked on my door."

His words were sharp and they stung more than expected. In the moment, all that I wanted to say fled my mind. Hours of rehearsing, out the window. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do.

"Your reasoning- f- uh- for leaving. I call bullshit."

"Oh. Well, if that is all, then please head home. I believe your work day is over."

The familiar burn of annoyance and hurt swirled around in my stomach.

"You said it was because I wasn't interested in you. That it was your image as Hawks. But you've shown yourself here and there and I still like y- hanging out with you."

It was like talking to a wall.

I took a breath and was about to continue, when he spoke, breaking his wall image.

"You don't know anything about me. You don't know my past. You don't know the amount of danger you could get in. And I'm not talkin little street gangs, I'm talking government—"

"Are you afraid of commitment?"

He stopped in his tracks.

"No."

"Then what is it?"

He chuckled darkly and a shiver shook me to my core.

"If you knew the things I've done—If you knew the real person I was, you'd run for the hills. And say we do forget this whole thing, you'll leave. Just like everyone else. You're no different. So I'm just saving us both the effort."

"Hey, you don't know that—"

"Kid, I do. I've got skeletons in my closet that you don't need to be seeing. You're just fangirling and when you get bored of me, you'll just move onto another hero."

"How often are you happy? Living all alone like this? Because based on what you've just said, you don't seem very happy at all. I like to think that we were close before this. Not because you're Hawks, but because you're a good guy—"

"Again, you know nothing about m—"

"Stop pushing me away. I don't know who hurt you, but I'm not them."