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Chapter 35--He Kissed A Boy, But He Didn't Like It

Harper

I'm going to tell Vincent. I've made up my mind about it. After talking to Logan, I decided I would do it. When Logan told me how I broke his heart—how I've been dragging him around—I realized just how badly I hurt him. I realized we would never be the same again.

I've been trying to pretend like everything can be the same, but it can't. The guilt consumes me more and more every day and after talking to Logan, I did in fact feel slightly better to get everything off my chest. I can tell it was therapeutic for the both of us despite the fact he also broke my heart.

We're not friends anymore. He made the abundantly clear. Except, I still miss him. I miss having his arms around me and kissing his pierced lips. I miss laughing with him and sharing a can of whipped cream. And it's my fault. I lost that. It's time to wake up, Harper.

Vincent doesn't deserve this. Logan is right, Vinny deserves true love. He deserves someone who gets excited to be around him and doesn't dread it because they have a secret to hide. He deserves someone who would have said yes to his proposal. At this point, I don't know if I would have said yes to him or yes to the idea of having him. Maybe my mind is more wrapped up by the idea of having a perfect family.

I've been avoiding Vinny during the week. Although I've realized I'm going to tell him, I also decided I would break the news after Valentine's. If I do it before Valentine's, then I'm the bitch who dumped her boyfriend just before the holiday of love. If I do it on Valentine's, then I'm the bitch that left her boyfriend stranded on the holiday of love. It's just better if I wait for afterwards.

Although Vincent loves Valentine's day, I told him to keep it simple this year. We eventually agreed we would go to dinner in the city. Nothing too fancy or upscale. I made sure of it. I don't want to feel more guilty than I already am. I'm going to put on a brave face and make sure Vincent has a good night. I still love him, and I want him to be happy. This is the least I can do before I drop a bomb on him the way I did to Logan.

Overall, our dinner went pretty well. Vincent is dressed in a nice suit and I decided to wear a red dress in the spirit of Valentine's day. We shared some appetizers together and enjoyed a nice night out. We don't frequently go to restaurants—mostly fast food places like Chipotle. But those are always casual dates.

"Did you have a nice dinner?" Vincent asks me as he drives us back towards campus. He's holding onto my hand and using his thumb to draw circles in my palm.

I smile softly in his direction, "I did. Can't wait to get home and crawl into bed."

Vincent turns his head briefly to look at me softly in the eyes. There's a twinkle behind his warm iris and I can tell he's had a great night. He smiles brightly, pulling my hand up to his lips to give it a small kiss. I let myself relax against the car seat, staring out the window. The highway billboards soon become trees and the streets start to become more familiar until we're finally driving down the street towards the university.

I'm happy that Vincent and I didn't do anything elaborate. I got him a small gift that was passed onto me a while ago—some soccer tickets I managed to get from Blake Parris. I know how much he'll enjoy going to see the games and he has VIP access where Blake promises me that he would get to meet the players after the match. Vincent almost cried when he saw the tickets and I think the table sitting next to us thought I gave him a million dollars.

He said he would give me my present when we got home. A part of me hopes it's something small like a trinket or gag gift. But knowing how much Vincent loves love, I'm sure it'll be a vase full of roses or a giant teddy bear I can cuddle up with. He already got me a small box of my favorite chocolates that are lying on my lap.